


The Secret Keeper

by Boxxsaltz



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Rivals to Lovers, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-01-26 23:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21382591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boxxsaltz/pseuds/Boxxsaltz
Summary: Wendy runs a booth where students can anonymously tell their secrets. When popular girl, Joy, drops by to admit she has a crush, the last thing Wendy expects is that it’s her. Because last she checked they hate each other....don’t they?
Relationships: Park Sooyoung | Joy/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Comments: 76
Kudos: 909





	1. Chapter 1

“I like to smell my own farts.”  
  
Seungwan pinched the skin between her eyebrows. _Compose yourself, compose yourself, compose yourself, _she chanted over and over again. She had to admit this wasn’t the weirdest thing someone had ever admitted but it might’ve set the bar for the day.   
  
She couldn’t complain. Not exactly. The Secret Keeper Booth was her idea. She proposed it in a student council meeting and the committee was on board if only because no one really liked talking to the guidance counselor. He smelt like cheese and liked to pick his nails with a toothpick while students poured out their hearts about their dog of ten years dying. He was a nice man but sometimes it just didn’t cut it. So the students decided to take matters into their own hands.   
  
With the help of the theatre tech kids, they made a booth akin to a confessional—one side for the keepers and the other side for the Secret-ers. Secret Yellers? Mystery Men? Seungwan wasn’t keen on what to call them yet but they made do.   
  
And for the low price of one thousand won (all proceeds going to the school activities budget), you got seven minutes to tell your secrets and worries.   
  
“Is that weird?” The boy on the other side asked.   
  
Seungwan opened her eyes and sat up, checking the time on her wristwatch (since they weren’t allowed cell phones in the booth). Her shift had only started and she couldn’t wait to get out of there if this was the kind of thing she was going to hear all day. Unfortunately, there were still four minutes on the stopwatch for this session.   
  
The whole idea behind the booth was for students to tell _real _secrets and have _real_ problems. It should be easy to do when you couldn’t see the other person’s face but she hated to admit it was things like this they heard more often than not.   
  
“Hello?”  
  
She sighed. “The booth is only to tell your secrets. We cannot offer advice.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Those are the rules.” As stated on every flier and posted on the outside of the booth for visitor convenience.   
  
“Then what’s the point?”  
  
Seungwan clenched her jaw. She could give the usual spiel about how they weren’t licensed professionals and giving expert advice while not being experts themselves was against the law. Today she settled with,  
  
“Sorry, but those are the rules.”  
  
“Then I want my money back!”  
  
She rolled her eyes just as her stopwatch beeped indicating seven minutes was done.   
  
“Your time is up.”  
  
“Wait—“  
  
“If you have any concerns, questions, or complaints please drop them into the mailbox at the student council room 7-D. Thank you for coming.”  
  
With a grumble, he left and Seungwan slumped in her chair. Not the best start to her shift.   
  
The hinges whined as another visitor entered the booth. Seungwan propped an elbow on her knee and rested her chin against her fist. Only one guest in and she was already worn out. She didn’t have high hopes for the next.   
  
“Welcome to the Secret Keeper Booth where your secrets are safe and you can kiss your worries goodbye,” she droned. The slogan could use some refining.   
  
“Hello?” came a soft, velvety voice. Feminine. Light.   
  
Seungwan perked up a little bit at that. She sounded nice. Like she had something real to tell.   
  
“So, I’m just supposed to tell my secret and then I go?”  
  
“That’s the idea.”  
  
“I’m not going to get in trouble or anything am I?”  
  
“All secrets are confidential unless they are cause for concern in which the guidance counselor will have to be notified.” And they were very serious about that rule.   
  
“But that’s for, like if you’re depressed or something, right?”  
  
Seungwan winced. Not the most graceful or politically correct way to put it. “Or something.”  
  
“Oh.” She paused. “I’m not depressed or anything! I’m fine. It’s not anything like that I just wanted to make sure.”   
  
“What brings you in today?”   
  
“I have a crush.”  
  
Seungwan nodded though the girl couldn’t see her. Crushes were a common secret brought to the booth. They were simple but they were fun. Seungwan always enjoyed hearing the person talk about how great their crush was. How much they wanted to show them how much they liked them. Or how flustered they got just from seeing them. Her heart would warm with theirs and would ache with the sad tales of how their crush would never notice them or they liked someone else or they were just too good for them.   
  
“I know that’s not like crazy or anything,” the girl continued, “but it sort of freaks me out. Crushes aren’t my thing, you know? People crush on _me_ not the other way around.”  
  
Seungwan rolled her eyes with a smile. Whoever this was, she was confident. She must be popular. She sounded like one of the popular girls. The ones who weren’t afraid to state their opinion for all to hear and flaunted down the hallways with their holier than thou attitude.   
  
Seungwan used to think those types were untouchable. They used to intimidate her. But being in this booth getting to hear them confess secrets like this made her feel like she had a one-up on them even if she didn’t know their name or their face.   
  
“Anyway,” the girl started again, “It’s been bugging me but I can’t stop thinking about her.”  
  
Seungwan choked. Literally. Saliva burned in her throat and she coughed trying to dislodge it from her windpipe   
  
Wait. _Her?_  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
She reached for her water bottle and furiously drank a gulp down. “I’m fine. Continue.”  
  
“You’re not a homophone are you?”  
  
“I think you mean homophobe.”  
  
“Potato, tomato. I can’t be here if you’re going to judge me. I read the fine print.”  
  
The No Judgement Clause that they inserted on the flier. Seungwan was actually surprised someone had read every detail she put into it. She appreciated this visitor.   
  
“I’m not judging you.”  
  
“Good.” She cleared her throat. “Because that’s not even the worst part. She’s a huge-freakin-nerd. I’m talking colossal! How is this possible? I’m too pretty for that.”  
  
Wow. Okay. That was a little harsh but she was entitled to her own opinions and thoughts and judgments.   
  
“Not that she isn’t attractive because she is. She’d have to be, obviously.”  
  
“Obviously.”  
  
“Are you mocking me?”  
  
Whoops. She couldn’t let real feelings show. They had to be objective. “No.”  
  
“Uh-huh.” She didn’t sound convinced but she went on anyway. “It’s just that, this is all so unexpected. It’s made me seriously moody but I can’t tell my friends.”  
  
Typical. Probably too embarrassed for that.   
  
“You’re really not going to tell anyone this, are you?”  
  
“I don’t even know who you are.”  
  
“So?”  
  
“We are one hundred percent confidential.”  
  
“Is that in writing or something?”  
  
She pursed her lips. “If you’re worried, you don’t have to come back.”  
  
“You’re the one who should be worried.”  
  
That was menacing.   
  
Her stopwatch beeped.   
  
“Your time is up.”  
  
“Wow. Great. Most disgusting seven minutes of my life.”  
  
The door on the other side creaked and slammed shut as the girl left leaving Seungwan bemused.   
  
What an odd day this was.   
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Swinging by the booth at the end of the day, Seungwan gathered the money box and headed to the student council room to drop it off.   
  
She found Joohyun, their fearless president, and the treasurer inside, discussing upcoming activity matters. She stayed with them for a bit, hashing out details until it got late and they decided to figure it out another day.   
  
Shouldering her bag, she walked out, bidding the others good night. It was late in the day and the halls were empty, void of most students who had already gone home and didn’t stick around for night classes.   
  
She started for the exit, trying to figure out what homework to hit first when she was hit with crippling dread.   
  
She heard laughing before she saw them. After school hours meant after school practices which meant _them_. The volleyball girls.  
  
They were the pride of the athletic department along with the boy’s football team. They weren’t all bad but everyone acted like they ran the place. That admiration went to their heads and thus resulted in a pack of high horse hyenas who laughed in the face of authority and turned up their noses at those not deemed on their level.   
  
There were only three of them this time. Each bitchier than the first with their gym bags hanging off shoulders and knee pads pulled down to their ankles.   
  
Seungwan ducked her head, making herself as invisible and small as she could as she passed. She wasn’t scared of them per se. Based on success, they were technically on the same plane. Except they’d get athletic scholarships while she would take an academic one. She wasn’t intimidated but she knew better than to ignore social hierarchy. She knew better than to poke at the lions unless she wanted her head chopped off.   
  
She knew she wasn’t a lowlife the way they tried to make others feel but she steered clear anyway. Sticks and stones break bones but words were just as painful.   
  
Eyes down, she did her best to evade their scrutiny. If only it was that easy.  
  
One of their bags clipped her on the hip, knocking them both back. She stumbled, catching herself on a set of lockers before she could trip over her feet and topple backward onto the floor. That was the last thing she wanted. Well, maybe the last-last thing she wanted because the real last thing she wanted was to be noticed. Noticed by _her._   
  
But here she was, flattened against a set of lockers looking very much the loser she felt in the moment with _her_ staring at her as if she had just disgraced the queen or something. To _her,_ she might as well have considering the girl she ran into was Kang Seulgi, the captain of the volleyball team.   
  
But Seungwan wasn’t afraid of Seulgi. Seulgi wasn’t partial to lashing out or threats or snide remarks. She was easy-going if not a little shy which didn’t reflect itself when she was on the court knocking spikes against their opponents. Seungwan couldn’t say the same for her other teammate, however. And she didn’t mean Kim Yerim who was snickering behind a hand at her, eyes darting between everyone waiting for whatever torment was about to befall Seungwan’s poor unfortunate soul.  
  
She meant Park Sooyoung. Her teammate with the stupid nice hair and the disgustingly charming laugh and the ridiculous toned legs and the overrated beauty that she knew she had and used it as a weapon against any and all who crossed her path.   
  
Sooyoung who she had the not so fortunate privilege of sharing a class with, having to watch as boys flirted with her and girls envied yet swooned over her and teachers let her off easy with the lame excuse of always having to practice.   
  
Sooyoung who sometimes peeked at her papers trying to steal answers and muttered comments under her breath when Seungwan was trying to deliver a presentation making the students around her giggle.   
  
Sooyoung who was a force that never seemed to go away and was always there. Always around. Always taunting her in the far most corners of her mind and wouldn’t get lost.   
  
Sooyoung who Seungwan couldn’t stand. She hated.   
  
“Accident prone much?” Sooyoung snipped.   
  
Seungwan wanted to bite back. She wanted to challenge her, knock her down, make her chest burn in embarrassment and her stomach go weightless but she had nothing. She was thrown off her game at the sudden appearance of Miss Bitchalicious in all her wonderfully fitted practice uniform glory. And she never did well with multiple people giving her attention all at once.   
  
“Sorry,” she mumbled.   
  
Sooyoung rolled her eyes and ushered Seulgi along asking her in the sweetest of voices if she was okay. Of course, Seulgi was okay. She wasn’t the one who got bulldozed by a gym bag the size of a semi-truck. Not that anyone noticed. Not that anyone cared. Not that Sooyoung cared.  
  
Seungwan straightened herself out and stormed down the hallway wondering why she even cared in the first place.   
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Same time as the previous day, and at the same time as the next, Seungwan took her place in the booth. Except she must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed today because every single secret—  
  
_”I can put my entire fist in my mouth.”  
  
“I wet the bed again last night but I can’t tell my mom or she’ll make me wear pull-ups again.”  
  
“I cheated on my physics test?”  
  
“My best friend is a moth named Fred.”_  
  
—was driving her insane. She had half a mind to go to Joohyun and tell her that they should take down the booth. That it wasn’t working the way they planned and the council members who took time out of their day to sit and listen to the woes of the student body were just sounding boards for weirdos to get their weird crap off their chest.  
  
Except she knew what Joohyun would say. Something wise like, _”Just because it doesn’t mean anything to you doesn’t mean it doesn’t mean anything to them.”_ And that was why she was the president and Seungwan was her second.  
  
“I hate her.”  
  
Seungwan started back to attention, her fuming cut off short when she recognized the voice from the previous day. The girl was back and she was flustered.   
  
“Like, I seriously hate her.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
“My crush! Keep up, dingus.”  
  
Dingus? Seungwan shook her head, letting it go.   
  
“Who does she think she is?” The girl seethed. Seungwan imagined steam coming out of her ears. ”Why can’t she stay in her own lane? Why does she have to cross mine?” She huffed before rushing to tack on, “and don’t say it’s because we both go to the same school. I _know_ that but it’s hard!”  
  
Seungwan smiled. Her interest was piqued, and despite rules about making too much conversation with the Secreteers (name work in progress), she couldn’t help but inquire more. “What happened?”  
  
“She assaulted me! With her eyes.”  
  
“Her eyes?” she deadpanned. High school students were so dramatic. She would know. She was one though she liked to think she had a little more sense and control than the average teen.   
  
“She has pretty eyes,” the girl muttered. “Pretty eyes for daggers, I guess. And she just goes around stabbing me with them. How am I supposed to cope with that? I’m already suffering enough from liking a”—she audibly shuddered—“nerd. Now she thinks she can just _look_ at me whenever and however she wants.”  
  
Seungwan bit the inside of her lip to keep from laughing. Honestly, this had to be one of the funniest things she heard all day. She was grateful. Listening to this girl was parting the gray clouds that had been following her around. Maybe she wouldn’t propose getting rid of the booth anytime soon if it meant quality content like this coming to her now and again.   
  
“Maybe that’s how she looks.”  
  
“Are you calling her ugly?”  
  
“No, I—”  
  
“She’s not ugly. I don’t like ugly people.”  
  
Seungwan rubbed her fingers into her temples. She didn’t know many people who swung from decently complementary to devastatingly shallow in one breath without batting a lash. The popular ones were a different breed. Perhaps that was why she stayed off their path. Because one moment she would be interesting to them—the smart girl who could help them with their grades—while the next moment she would be a water bug easily squashed beneath their feet. Finicky little shits. The lot of them.   
  
“I wish she would evaporate.”  
  
Seungwan couldn’t hold back her snort. It was all very elementary, she thought. But she could sympathize. Love made people silly.   
  
“I’m serious,” the girl pressed, off-put by the blatant show of amusement. “It would be easier.”  
  
She sobered quickly and crossed her legs in the chair. “Easier than telling her?”  
  
“Are you crazy! I can’t do that.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Because I—Because I can’t. We don’t even talk.”  
  
Seungwan’s eyebrows lifted. Interesting. She should’ve expected that. Nerds didn’t fare well the land of popularity. It was a wonder how this second rate student-zen even pinged the girl’s radar.   
  
“I know what you’re thinking. How can I like someone that I don’t even talk to?” She sucked her teeth in annoyance. Seungwan could practically hear her rolling her eyes. “It’s possible. Not like love at first sight but like—” she groaned in frustration. “Do you understand?”  
  
“I think so.” She could try to at least. Admiring someone from afar was a thing and Seungwan was guilty of it herself once or twice.   
  
“I wish I could talk to her.”  
  
“Why don’t you?”  
  
“I thought you weren’t allowed to give advice,” she spat back. Seungwan knew her eyes must’ve been narrowed, scrutinizing her.   
  
“It’s just a question.”  
  
“Don’t ask questions.”  
  
“Okay. No questions.”  
  
A second of silence ticked by. “I’m done talking. Is my time up yet?”  
  
Seungwan looked down at her stopwatch. She hadn’t even started it. “Yes.”  
  
“Great.”   
  
And just like that, she was gone.   
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Walking through the gym, Seungwan inspected the posters and signs being put up. Pep rallies were stressful and she was in charge of making sure they panned out perfectly.   
  
Clipboard in hand, she checked off her list as she observed, occasionally offering a line of advice to those working to add the finishing touches.   
  
“Be careful,” she shouted to two members up on ladders who were hanging a banner over the doors.  
  
They offered her a thumbs up and she kept on, scaling up the bleachers to get a better look at the setup. She was so engrossed in her duties that she missed _her_ perched on one of the seats. Normally Sooyoung wasn’t so easy to miss. She was so...shiny for lack of better words. Always put together, radiant, loud even when she wasn’t opening her mouth.   
  
Seungwan always noticed her even if she didn’t want to. It was like she was a piece of metal and Seungwan’s eyes were magnets forever drawn to her dumb (lovely) face.  
  
So she was completely blindsided when she heard someone rudely ask—  
  
“What are you doing here?”  
  
Seungwan nearly lost her balance on the step she stood on. Her life flashed before her eyes at the prospect of her tumbling down the bleachers and face planting into the court. That might have been better than coming face to face with Sooyoung who she turned around to find straddling one of the seats.   
  
Her backpack was open and she had a textbook between her legs along with a notebook. The gym was an odd place to be doing school work but to each their own.   
  
“Working,” she offered.   
  
“Oh, yeah, you’re in Student Council.”  
  
“Vice President.” She wasn’t just in it she was the backbone of it.   
  
“As expected.”  
  
Seungwan narrowed her eyes, glancing around in search of the captain or even the other brat Yerim who fueled Sooyoung’s fires. Neither were anywhere to be found and Seungwan was suddenly extremely nervous.   
  
“Did you study for the history test?”  
  
Seungwan’s eyebrow cocked. Was Sooyoung really asking her about...class? Not like they had much else to talk about but that was the thing. They didn’t talk. They didn’t speak. Despite being in the same class for a couple of years now, they avoided each other. Sooyoung was popular and gorgeous and Seungwan was Seungwan. Their circles never overlapped and their interests, she was sure, were polar opposites of one another.   
  
She couldn’t understand why now of all the times they had encountered one another that Sooyoung would be asking a harmless question about a test. But maybe it wasn’t harmless. Maybe this was a prank. Maybe Yerim was going to come around the corner and throw water balloons filled with Jell-O at her while Seulgi filmed it all on her phone and they would post it online so everyone would laugh at her.   
  
That was it. That had to be it.   
  
She offered a shrug in answer.   
  
“Right. I bet you never have to study for anything.”  
  
If that was meant as a compliment, it completely missed the mark. “What makes you think that?”  
  
“Don’t act so modest.” Sooyoung laughed that haughty, warm, light sound of a laugh. “Everyone knows you’re like the top in the class.”  
  
“No, I’m not.” Joohyun was. Well, they shared the position, alternating back and forth between who was one and two. Right now it was Joohyun and Seungwan was okay with that. What she wasn’t okay with was the way Sooyoung actually looked offended by her answer.   
  
“Oh.” Eyes cut her up and down.   
  
“Yeah, ‘oh’.” She bristled, irritation rising up in her quickly. “Don’t act like you know me.”  
  
She inspected her nails cooly. The emerald was a good color on her. “Acting isn’t really my thing.”  
  
“You’re doing a good job of it now,” she spat. Sooyoung’s brow furrowed and Seungwan scoffed at her audacity to pretend she didn’t understand. “As if you care about the history test or me.”  
  
“It was only a question,” she bit back. There she was. There was the snarky Sooyoung she knew. “Is that a crime? God, it’s not that deep, Seungwan.”  
  
The drop of her name caught her off guard and the retort she had was lost in her throat. It was stupid to think Sooyoung didn’t know her name. They knew who each other were. Had since forever ago. She knew Sooyoung’s name so it shouldn’t be a surprise she knew hers but there was something weird about hearing her say it. Like they were familiar with one another. Like she’d been practicing the shape of it and how it would fill her mouth.   
  
Seungwan’s grip on her clipboard tightened, trying to keep herself from combusting. She didn’t know why she felt like that. Probably because Sooyoung was a jerk who had never been nice to her and now she had the nerve to call her by name like they were _friends. _  
  
“I have to finish setting up.”  
  
Sooyoung shrugged. “Whatever. Not like I care.”  
  
Turning her back, she walked down the steps, damning Park Sooyoung to the ends of the earth.   
  
-/-/-/-  
  
“We talked.”  
  
A third time. Wow. If they were going to get regular customers at the booth, she might need to up the fee.   
  
“You did?”  
  
“It was really quick but yeah.” She was all too excited about this brief encounter.  
  
Young love. Seungwan might’ve been a little jealous. The last time she had something this thrilling happen in her own life was in elementary school and the kid who ate glue kept putting candy into her cubby with slips of paper that only had smiley faces on them. She was flattered by his show of interest but Seungwan was a pudgy, awkward kid back then.  
  
Not that she changed much. The pudge was gone but she considered herself fairly awkward. It was no wonder she got poked fun at a lot. She was small despite being the tallest back in elementary school. She was loud, a curse of the vocal cords that she couldn’t control. She had this thing where she never gave up on something, which would be a great quality, but it came at a price sometimes. Like making her too smart for her own good which tossed her to the bottom of the social hierarchy totem pole.   
  
So if she wasn’t going to get to be the protagonist in her own high school romance, she guessed living vicariously through the anonymous students was the next best thing.   
  
“What did you talk about?”  
  
“Class.”  
  
“That’s it?”  
  
“She’s not that easy to talk to. Nerds are weird.”  
  
Seungwan placed a hand on her chest in offense. They weren’t all weird. Were they? She didn’t think she was weird but no one thought of themselves as weird. She probably was weird.   
  
“What’s so weird about them?”  
  
“For starters, they actually like studying.” She made a gagging noise. “Only nerds and psychopaths like studying.”  
  
“What if she’s a psychopath?”  
  
“She’s not. She couldn’t be.”  
  
“Couldn’t?” An interesting choice of words. It hinted that the girl paid a lot more attention to her crush than she let on.   
  
“She’s too nice for that. Well, she’s nice when she’s not being a jerk to me.”  
  
“I thought you didn’t talk.”  
  
“We didn’t. We don’t. But we did and she was a jerk!”   
  
She muttered something under her breath that Seungwan couldn’t quite catch. The words, “rude” and “little shit” was all she gathered.   
  
“Listen.” Seungwan was listening. “I had the entire thing planned out. I would ask about class then ask if she would help me with homework. Not that I don’t get the homework because I do but tactics matter.”  
  
“They do.” To capture the one you wanted you had to go in with a plan. Not like Seungwan knew anything about that but that’s what the romance novels and the teen flicks showed.   
  
“It didn't work,” she deadpanned. “She blew me off.”  
  
“What went wrong?”  
  
“I don’t know! I even complimented her. I thought nerds liked it when you said nice things about their brain.”  
  
“Brains isn’t all they have.” As much as she liked getting rewarded for her intellect it got old. She wasn’t just the Vice President of Student Council. She wasn’t just number two in the class. She wasn’t just the one who always landed some of the best marks on assignments and tests. There was more to her. There was always more to people than you knew at first glance.   
  
“There you go giving advice again,” the girl pointed out.   
  
“You’re right. Sorry. Continue.”  
  
“I mean what else is there?” She seemed genuinely perplexed by the situation. “I can’t tell her she’s pretty. That’s second date material. I’m not even at the sit-with-me-at-lunch base yet.”  
  
Seungwan grinned. That was sort of cute. Lunch seating was a big deal. One reason why she picked a table with little to no one at it or sought out fellow student council members.   
  
“Why don’t you ask her to sit with you?”  
  
The girl snorted.   
  
“Okay. Then start small. Why don’t you get to know her?”  
  
_“Why don’t you get to know her,”_ she mocked. Seungwan was too taken aback to be offended and she was too nice to be rude back especially with the sad sigh she heard. “What if she doesn’t want to get to know me?”  
  
“Why wouldn’t she?”  
  
“If you knew me, you’d know.”  
  
Seungwan tilted her head in interest. So she wasn’t as stuck up as she let on. There was insecurity in there.   
  
“Just be yourself,” Seungwan offered.   
  
“That’s the problem.”  
  
“You’re the problem?”   
  
“Her not realizing what a catch I am is the first problem,” she snapped back. “How am I supposed to be myself when she doesn’t even really see me anyway?”  
  
Tough one. Seungwan swerved. “The booth is only to tell your secrets we cannot offer advice.”  
  
“Wow. Hypocrite.”  
  
She wished the girl could see her apologetic smile. She wished she could be more help but she had already overstepped her boundaries and it felt wrong to interfere in a situation she didn’t fully know.   
  
Just as she was about to offer her condolences, her stopwatch beeped. She was sad that seven minutes was up. The more she spent time with this girl the more curious she was about the dilemma and the people involved. The more she wanted things to work out.  
  
“Time’s up.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah I’m going.” The chair whine as she got up but she didn’t move beyond that. “Do you really think being myself would work? You can answer that since time is up.”  
  
It was a technicality but Seungwan was okay with it. She had been breaking the rules so far anyway.   
  
“How can someone like what they don’t know?”  
  
“Are you sure you’re not the real guidance counselor?”  
  
“Positive.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
The week ended with rain.   
  
Exchanging books from her locker, Seungwan grabbed her umbrella out and headed for the exit. Most complained about the rain ruining their weekend but it didn’t matter to Seungwan. She had piles of homework to do and ideas to pitch at the next student council meeting regarding what to do with the next fundraiser.   
  
She hardly had time to give thought to herself, let alone cast to the prick of a human that she saw in the school lobby.   
  
She tried her best to ignore her but someone like Park Sooyoung was hard to ignore. Especially considering she was splayed on the floor with her head propped on her gym bag while she thumbed at her phone.   
  
Any other day, Seungwan would continue on and go home but the sight was odd. It was late. And if she remembered, teams didn’t hold practice on days before the weekend so there was no reason for Sooyoung to still be around. Not like she did night school or anything. Did she?  
  
“It’s not polite to stare,” she spat.   
  
And just like that, any concern or curiosity evaporated.   
  
“Wait, are you leaving?”  
  
“What? Did you think I lived at the school, too?”  
  
Sooyoung grimaced, though it quickly snapped into a glare. “I hope your umbrella breaks.”  
  
She dropped back against her bag and Seungwan started for the door where she stopped. She shouldn’t stop. She should keep going. Go home, have dinner, maybe detox with some brainless drama before getting a jump on school work.   
  
Her gut had opinions of its own and it halted her in place, forcing the next words out of her mouth.   
  
“Why are you still here?”  
  
“Waiting obviously.”  
  
“For your mom?”  
  
She blanched as if Seungwan said the sky was purple. “For the rain to stop, hello! I know I’m not the only one who sees the monsoon coming down outside. I’m not some sort of masochistic looking to catch a cold so I’ll wait.”  
  
That was more words than Seungwan needed but it was an answer.   
  
She peered out the glass. The rain was supposed to last the rest of the evening into the night. If Sooyoung was waiting for it to stop, she would be waiting for hours. And no one, not even punks like Sooyoung, deserved the torture of being stuck in the walls of school longer than necessary.   
  
Damn her conscience. “Where do you live?”  
  
Sooyoung answered without looking up from her phone. Seungwan was half hoping that she said somewhere out of her way. She hoped it was one of those nice parts of town so she could pop a mean joke about how she could just ask her butler to pick her up. She hoped for a lot of things but what she got was surprised to find that she wasn’t very far from where Seungwan lived. With that surprise came empathy and she hated that she was a nice person by nature.  
  
“Do you want to walk to the bus stop together?”  
  
Sooyoung finally looked up. “What?”  
  
“I’m going that way. I have an umbrella.”  
  
The hopeful look on her face melted into scrutiny. “Is this some sort of joke?”  
  
“Why would I be joking?”  
  
“Why would you be offering?”  
  
“Why would—” she gritted her teeth, calming herself down. It worked for a moment until she saw Sooyoung’s shit-eating grin. “Forget it.”  
  
She pushed at the door.  
  
“Wait!” She had never seen Sooyoung move so fast. Not even on the volleyball court when she took a dive to save a ball before it could hit the floor. “I’m coming.” She slung her bag over her shoulder and stuffed her phone away into her pocket. “Don’t pull anything funny.” She warned as she ducked out the door ahead of Seungwan who popped the umbrella open.  
  
It fanned out easily over both of them but it was still a tight fit. Sooyoung had to sacrifice half of her bag to the rain while Seungwan dealt with occasionally bumping into the giantess every now again when their strides didn’t match. Not like they really could. Sooyoung was nearly a head taller than her and she took up a lot more room than she appeared to.   
  
The walk to the bus stop was one of tense silence. Seungwan kept her eyes on the ground, watching as water bounced and sloshed at her feet while Sooyoung stared forward. It was so awkward, Seungwan almost wanted to just give Sooyoung her umbrella and endure the downpour on her own. But the girl had a point. It wasn’t worth the risk of a cold so she sucked it up and powered through.  
  
Reaching the bus stop, they separated now under the cover of an awning. Sooyoung slumped against the far side, taking her phone out to play on again while Seungwan stood alone, waiting with her hands in her pockets. It would be a few minutes until the bus arrived which meant a few minutes stuck with Sooyoung that would turn into a couple more minutes stuck with Sooyoung on the bus that would turn into nearly thirty stuck with Sooyoung as they walked home.  
  
_Great. _  
  
She really thought this through.   
  
“I didn’t mean it like that.” The voice was so soft it was nearly missed. Seungwan looked back to find Sooyoung looking at her with hesitant eyes. It was a weird look on her. It did something in Seungwan’s chest. “About not having to study.”  
  
This old argument? She would’ve thought Sooyoung forgot about they’d exchange in the gym. Odd of her to bring it up again. “We all have to work hard.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“Do you?”  
  
“Jesus fu—” she took in a breath and let it out in a huff. “Fine. I don’t know you. There. I admit it. Happy? Now, are you going to let me apologize or what?”  
  
“Oh. That’s what you were trying to do?”  
  
“Is that so hard to believe?”  
  
“Coming from you, yes.”  
  
“You act like I’m the spawn of Satan or something.”  
  
“You’re not?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m no Little Miss Sunshine and we’ve exchanged like two nice words ever but at least I admitted I was wrong about you. What’s your excuse?”  
  
Ouch.   
  
Brakes squeaked as the bus rolled up to a stop. Seungwan opened her umbrella for them but Sooyoung clamored passed her inside. She ducked in after, finding her standing toward the back. When their eyes met, Sooyoung looked away, turning her back to shut her out.  
  
Seungwan frowned. She deserved that. Maybe she was a little harsh. Despite everything, Sooyoung wasn’t terrible. She was a lot of other things that she wondered if anyone else noticed. Like her kindness. It was rude of her not to hear her apology no matter how awful it was. Everyone should be allowed to right their wrongs even if they were pompous, popular, volleyball player, bimbos who thought they were better than everyone else but secretly had a heart of gold.  
  
Wait. What? No!  
  
Sooyoung was a jerk and she deserved every lash she got.   
  
At their stop, Seungwan got off. She stood on the sidewalk, umbrella open and waiting. When Sooyoung appeared, she begrudgingly held her arm out, catching her beneath the umbrella and fell into step at her side.  
  
The awkwardness was back with tension thicker than before. Seungwan’s knuckles were white from how tightly she clenched the umbrella handle. There was a little devil on her shoulder telling her to rip it away. But the longer they walked, the less upset Seungwan felt allowing guilt to filter into its place.   
  
This was stupid. She knew better. Sooyoung was right.   
  
Swallowing her pride, she took in a breath. “Apology accepted.”  
  
Sooyoung scoffed. “Gee, thanks.”  
  
“I’m sorry, too. Truce?”  
  
Sooyoung looked down at her hand but didn’t take it. Letting it drop, Seungwan buried it back in her pocket and let the rest of the walk carry on in silence.   
  
It wasn’t long before Sooyoung turned and started toward an apartment building. It was only a block or two away from where Seungwan lived and she wondered why she never noticed.   
  
She walked her all the way up to the entrance where an overhand shielded them from the rain. They both shifted awkwardly, neither one knowing what to do. A man stepped out of the door, walking between them.   
  
“I’m going inside now,” said Sooyoung. “Thanks.”  
  
Seungwan wasn’t sure why that made her feel so weird. It wasn’t like she didn’t appreciate it or liked hearing it but that’s just not who they were. Yet.   
  
“Couldn’t let you catch a cold, right?” she joked.   
  
Sooyoung rolled her eyes. “Now we have a truce.”  
  
She slipped inside letting the door close with a wet smack.   
  
Seungwan took to the sidewalk wondering why that even made her smile. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Guess what!”  
  
There was something different about the girl today. Her enthusiasm was alarming. It shocked a sleepy Seungwan awake. She hadn’t gotten much rest over the days off and the morning was dragging. Maybe this session would bring the jolt to get her batteries going that she nodded.  
  
“What?”  
  
“We talked again.” It was obvious she was grinning. A sly, happy kind of grin. “Like talked-talked kind of talk.”  
  
Seungwan found her excitement infectious. “Progress.”  
  
“I know, right?” She giggled and Seungwan could tell she was trying to hide the sound. “She was really sweet. Still a jerk but sweet.”  
  
Seungwan laughed. Things seemed to be getting better. “What are you going to do now?"  
  
“Ask her out.”  
  
Seungwan wasn’t sure why her stomach fluttered at that. Maybe because she felt like she was part of this journey, too. It made her nervous and excited for the girl. “Whoa.”  
  
“Not like that, dingus.” She snorted. “I’ll start small. I have to be strategic.”  
  
That was safer than going from zero to one hundred. She wished them luck. “Go get’em, tiger.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
“Hey, you.”  
  
Seungwan knew who it was without having to look up. No one else was this stupidly loud and annoying. And she wasn’t in the mood. She was tired and stressed. The last thing she needed was Sooyoung encroaching on her already poor mood.  
  
“I said, hey, you.”  
  
She closed her eyes, wishing this monstrosity would evaporate. It didn’t. It stayed there, waiting for acknowledgment. She wasn’t the type to ignore someone and Sooyoung was never and would never be someone she could ignore.  
  
She craned her neck back to look up. “Hi.”  
  
“Aren’t you going to lunch?”  
  
Most of the class had already filtered out to eat. Few straggled behind, gossiping amongst themselves. Usually, Sooyoung would be out the door along with the masses, hunting down her friends to spend time with. What was her deal today?  
  
Seungwan motioned to the board where their teacher had scribbled the lesson for the day. “I want to finish taking down the notes.”  
  
“Say no more.” Whipping out her phone, Sooyoung angled her phone at the board and snapped a few pictures. It was smart. Seungwan wondered why she never thought of doing that. “What’s your number?”  
  
She blinked. “My what?”  
  
“Your phone number. I’ll text the picture and you can finish writing them down later.” Her eyebrows lifted, thumb hovering over the screen waiting for Seungwan to drop the digits.  
  
Seungwan just stared. What sort of parallel universe did she enter? Was this a dream? Did she actually fall into the street and bust her head on the pavement when she slipped on the curb this morning?  
  
Seungwan narrowed her eyes. “What are you playing at?”  
  
“I’m trying to go to lunch but you won’t hurry up.”  
  
“Why do I need to hurry?”  
  
“So we can have lunch together. Duh.”  
  
Okay. This was getting weird. She had to place her pencil down to process what was happening. First off, Park Sooyoung was voluntarily speaking to her. All on her own. No joke set up, no people to witness, no snide comment. She was just speaking to her and—Seungwan had to take a breath for this one—secondly wanted to eat lunch together? As in together, together. Same proximity. Sharing the same air. In each other’s company. Her stomach did a weird wavy thing. What?  
  
No, no, no, no, no. She was hearing things. She must be.  
  
“You want to have lunch...with me?”  
  
“You scratch my back, I scratch yours.” Sooyoung shrugged though it was anything but nonchalant. Sitting backward on the desk in front of Seungwan’s, she quickly added, “but don’t make a habit out of it. I’m only being nice because you didn’t have to do what you did last week and I hate owing people so might as well get this over with.”  
  
Oh. That’s what this was. A thank you delivered on a silver platter topped with bullshit. She knew it was too good to be true. She didn’t even know why she thought it would be genuine. Not from someone like Sooyoung.  
  
Seungwan swallowed down her hurt and snatched her pencil back up. “I’m not hungry.”  
  
“Oh please.” Plucking the pencil from Seungwan’s hand, she placed it behind her ear far out of reach. The glower she received did zero damage to affect her. “Your stomach has growled four times since second rotation.” That was creepily accurate. “You could just say no instead of lying to me.”  
  
Arms crossed over her chest. She felt oddly exposed. Mainly because Sooyoung had to be paying some sort of attention to her to know she was starving. Other than that, she still couldn’t help feeling like this was a setup. That Sooyoung was playing with her vulnerabilities only to run a sword through her when she least expected it. She didn’t want that.  
  
“You don’t have to pay me back.”  
  
“I know I don’t _have_ to.” Standing up, Sooyoung placed her hands on her hips looking all the intimidating titan that she was. It didn’t scare Seungwan though. It did other things to her. Like make her heart flutter.  
  
Sooyoung was the type who got what she wanted. Most of those being through the power of a mighty flirt and a quick tongue that could dismantle any bully.  
  
Right then it was breaking down Seungwan’s defenses that she had set up to protect herself from this very girl. She didn’t like it one bit but she also sort of maybe didn’t mind.  
  
“Will you eat lunch with me or not? I could just throw the extra away.”  
  
She couldn’t bear the thought of good food going to waste. “Okay.”  
  
“Good answer.” She flashed a gummy grin and returned the stolen pencil. “Now let’s go.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
“Is there something wrong with the cafeteria?”  
  
Seungwan scrunched her nose as the smells of the gym filled her nostrils. Stale sweat and rubber weren't the most complimentary of fragrances for a lunchtime eat out. Not to mention the place was dirty, teeming with bacteria on every surface butts and feet touched. It reminded her of those teen movies when the outcast would seek refuge in a restroom stall. Unsanitary. She was surprised no one got malaria.  
  
“It’s loud,” said Sooyoung as she started up the bleachers.  
  
Seungwan followed her to the top most section where the lights barely touched. “Is it or did you just not want to be seen eating with me?”  
  
Sooyoung shrugged and sat down. “If that’s what you want to believe.”  
  
It wasn’t. She didn’t want to be someone’s dirty little secret. As if being forced to eat lunch all in the name of being even wasn’t enough. Hiding away in the gym where no one else could see them and no one would know that cool, sexy, Sooyoung was sharing shrimp crackers with boring, bland, Seungwan was hurtful and nothing short of humiliating.  
  
“I’ll take mine to go.”  
  
“Sit down, Seungwan.”  
  
If her words were a whip, Seungwan felt them hard and raw. She did just as she was told, dropping on her bum with a plop though not without malice. She made it known, arms crossed over her chest and brow pulled in. She didn’t even know why she sat down. Sooyoung wasn’t the boss of her. She could do what she wanted.  
  
Glancing at her expression, Sooyoung cackled. “God, you’re such a baby. And everyone thinks I’m dramatic.”  
  
She had to fight not to stick out her tongue. “Because you are.”  
  
Sooyoung sneered. “I’m not ashamed of talking to you.”  
  
“I’m not sure I believe you.” It was worth saying for the second of inflation in her pride at seeing Sooyoung’s hardshell falter. But she couldn’t pretend to be a hardass even if she tried and she felt bad for hurting her feelings. “It’s just...it’s not like you’ve given me any reason to ever trust you.”  
  
Sooyoung only nodded. Silently, she pulled out her lunch bag and opened it up to take out an assortment of containers that she placed on the space between them.  
  
“We were kind of friends once,” Sooyoung said softly.  
  
Seungwan blew air passed her lips. Emphasis on kind of. “Lab partners for a day didn’t seem to keep you from being a jerk.”  
  
Because the very next day, she was back to the old Sooyoung.  
  
Sooyoung sucked her teeth in annoyance. “You’re like a world-class nerd, what did you expect?”  
  
“Human decency.”  
  
An accusatory chopstick pointed at her. “You mixed my solution wrong so it exploded all over me. My hands were blue for a week!“  
  
Seungwan smirked. She remembered. She did it a few days later to get back at her when Sooyoung wasn’t looking and relished in her mortification when she was splattered in dyes and solutions. In retrospect, it was dangerous. Chemicals were nothing to play with but neither were her feelings and Sooyoung had a knack for playing with hers.  
  
“Hah-hah. Funny. Laugh all you want.” The last of the containers clicked against the bleachers. There was no humor in Sooyoung’s tone. “You’re not as innocent as you let on. At least I’m honest about being a bitch.”  
  
Ouch, take two.  
  
All the frustration in her seeped out like air from a balloon. For someone who wound her up so much, Sooyoung had been humbling her more times than she liked. She wasn’t proud enough to act like the girl wasn’t right. She was.  
  
“This is yours.” Sooyoung slid one of the large containers toward her.  
  
Seungwan opened it surprised at the food she found inside. It was all packed very neatly and the taste exploded in her mouth. Always in a rush, Seungwan hardly had time to prepare food for herself and her parents were always busy. School bought food was good but it didn’t beat the homemade kind. To think, her one enemy would feed her the best lunch she had in months.  
  
“Did your mom pack this?” asked Seungwan.  
  
“No, I did.”  
  
Taking a morsel, she popped it into her mouth, eyes widening when the flavors burst on her tongue. _“You_ made this?”  
  
“What, like it’s hard?” Sooyoung picked a perfectly rolled piece of gimbap. Manners out the window, she spoke as she chewed. “I can make almost anything.”  
  
Seungwan was skeptical. “Anything?”  
  
“Name it. I can make it.”  
  
She listed off one dish after another after another, each of which Sooyoung checked off with a positive along with a quick rundown of main ingredients and cooking instructions.  
  
Seungwan didn’t want to admit that she was impressed. But she was. It was hard to picture Sooyoung in the kitchen chopping vegetables and sprinkling seasonings. She always seemed too calloused despite her not being that way. Seungwan remembered a different image of Sooyoung. One so vague and so far removed from the person she presented she sometimes doubted if she saw right.  
  
“I can’t make that,” she said to the last thing on Seungwan’s list. “Well, I can but not very good. My grandma has a special recipe that I haven’t gotten right yet.”  
  
“Did you learn from her?”  
  
Sooyoung nodded. “She has trouble with her hands so I usually make the meals and do the shopping. She lets me try out new dishes and eats them even if they’re not good.” A soft smile of affection graced her lips. “After my parent's accident, she encouraged me to keep going. She taught me everything. Learning how to cook and clean and sew was the only way I would come out of my room.”  
  
Seungwan swallowed hard, pausing to stare at the girl across from her. That was the most she ever heard about Sooyoung’s personal life and it was...a lot. A lot more than she thought she deserved to know. It made her a little uncomfortable. Or guilty.  
  
“I didn’t know.”  
  
Eyes flickered up, catching her sullen expression that she returned with an eye roll. “I’m not telling you this because I want your pity.”  
  
“Why are you?” It felt like information better exchanged between friends. Not the likes of them.  
  
“If I want you to trust me, I have to start somewhere.”  
  
Seungwan’s insides twisted ever tighter. Another bomb dropped out of nowhere. What started off as a simple lunch turned into something deeper. Something unexpected. Seungwan didn’t know what to do with this new information. She didn’t know what to do with Sooyoung’s honesty. She didn’t know what to do with her heart that was beating like it was about to fly out of her chest.  
  
Dropping her head, Seungwan focused on the food that was left. They both figured that was the best thing to do and the rest of the time passed by with the gurgle of pipes up above and soft chews and slurps of coke.  
  
When the bell rang, Seungwan jumped. Sooyoung sighed and packed everything up.  
  
The tension was too great. She needed to say something. “Thanks for lunch.”  
  
“Whatever.” Standing, Sooyoung tossed her bag onto her back and started off.  
  
Seungwan scrambled up to follow as they made way down the bleachers and to the doors that would lead them back into the main hallway where Sooyoung stopped.  
  
“I’m really not ashamed of talking to you.” She turned around but her eyes didn’t settle on Seungwan. They were everywhere else but her. It was the first time she had seen someone as confident as Sooyoung so uneasy. “My friends and I haven’t been nice to you so you know how people can be.” She shrugged. “It was either the gym or them.”  
  
Seungwan watched her back retreat as she walked out the door, leaving her alone.  
  
Oh. _Oh. _  
  
That made sense.  
  
For someone as smart as her, she could be really dumb at times.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
“Am I a bad person?”  
  
Seungwan cocked an eyebrow. “Ma’am, this is a secret keeper booth.”  
  
The girl blew air past her lips. It didn’t seem like she was in the mood for jokes and banter today. “I know I’m not the nicest person but I’m not _bad.”_  
  
Seungwan could hear the sorrow in her voice. She mellowed out. This was a serious matter and she needed to treat it as such.  
  
“Why do you think you’re a bad person?” she asked.  
  
“I think she’s scared of me.”  
  
“Why would she be?”  
  
“I haven’t exactly been the poster child for model character,” the girl grumbled. “Every time she looks at me, it’s either she wants to rip my eyes out or she’s scared that I’ll slit her throat.”  
  
Intense. Geez. How bad was their relationship before? It was a wonder this girl has gotten this far in progress if their history was that messy. “Why is that?”  
  
“Because, she— We—!” She muttered words with heavy indignation that Seungwan couldn't understand. She could tell the girl was struggling, trying to find the right words to express herself. “Because that’s just how it’s been! I haven’t always been nice to her. I know that. I wish I could take it all back.” She ended on a somber note that made Seungwan’s own mouth tug down into a frown.  
  
She could relate. She knew how it felt not to be treated the kindest and how difficult it was to see the good in a person through all the shit that they threw. But there always was a little good to be found.  
  
“Do you know what the crazy thing is?” asked the girl. Her tone was different now. A little defeated. Maybe even thoughtful. She wasn’t as defensive as before. Like she was tired of her own antics and was ready for the truth to finally see the light of day.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You can’t repeat this. Ever.”  
  
Seungwan smiled. “Scouts honor.”  
  
“She’s the one who scares me.”  
  
That wasn’t that she was expecting. She leaned her head against the side of the booth, all her curiosity and focus and attention on this girl and the new developments in her secrets. “Why?”  
  
“She's like...maybe she’s too good for me.” She breathed a heavy sigh. “I’ve always known about her. I’ve always seen her there. We didn’t talk but that didn’t mean I didn’t notice her. She was always the nicest person. Always the smartest. Always one of the prettiest even though I know she doesn’t think so. She’s too modest to say it out loud, even if she did think so.”  
  
“She sounds perfect.”  
  
“She’s not. That’s what I like. She can be mean, too. She fights back when you think she won’t. She isn’t afraid to be herself even if everyone else...even if _I_ tried to make her feel bad for that.”  
  
“Why don’t you tell her what you think?”  
  
She snorted. “As if. She wouldn’t believe me.”  
  
“Maybe she would.” Seungwan shrugged. “People change. She might understand and see that you have.”  
  
“Would you?”  
  
Seungwan stilled.  
  
She tried to put herself into this girl’s shoes. Into both of their shoes. The only way she could was to think of Sooyoung.  
  
She still couldn’t pinpoint where Sooyoung was coming from. What she really wanted. She might’ve not been scared of Sooyoung before but she was terrified now.  
  
She didn’t know how to handle her when she wasn’t snapping at her or shooting her angry glares or giggling at her in the back of the class. That’s what she had grown used to and now that it was evening out, it was exposing things in herself that she hadn’t been privy to.  
  
Like that Sooyoung was actually decent to talk to. She was warm underneath all the venom she spat. She was intelligent and calculating and there was kindness around her eyes that bled through when she thought no one was paying attention.  
  
What would she do if Sooyoung told her she was sorry? What if she meant it? What if this entire time they had been at odds for some stupid reason like jealousy and envy? What if they cast all that away?  
  
What if Sooyoung wanted her? Seungwan’s insides warmed at the thought. That was weird  
  
“I would try to,” Seungwan answered after a moment.  
  
Because that was all she could do. Try to understand where Sooyoung was coming from. If she talked to Seungwan like this girl was, she would see it clear as day. It wouldn’t be so difficult. But she doubted Sooyoung ever would. Or even wanted to. Or maybe she wasn’t even thinking about Seungwan the way she seemed to not be able to stop thinking about her.  
  
“Try…”  
  
The stopwatch chimed and no other words were spoken.  
  
The girl left and Seungwan remained in her chair, wondering about the girl who wasn’t much of her enemy anymore.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Lunch dates become a thing.  
  
Seungwan refused to call them that out loud but Sooyoung insisted. Just like she insisted on making Seungwan clamor up the bleachers and make her eat with her at least two or three times a week.  
  
The more they did it, the less Sooyoung had to fight her to come and the less Seungwan tried to weasel herself out of it.  
  
Sooyoung wasn’t so bad. She gagged at the thought. When did she start thinking that? When did she start looking forward to her popping up at her desk when the bell rang with her, “Hey, you, let’s go eat,” and refusing to take no for an answer.  
  
They weren’t all good lunches though—  
  
“I’m not letting you look off my paper.”  
  
“Why not? I need to pass.”  
  
“You should’ve thought of that before you started slacking.”  
  
“I have a brutal practice schedule. What makes you think I have time to study between all of that?”  
  
“Not my problem, figure it out.”  
  
“I am trying to figure it out but you’re being stingy!”  
  
“Avoiding plagiarism isn’t being stingy it’s called not committing a crime!”  
  
“Yell at me one more time and I’ll show you how well I can commit a crime!”  
  
Seungwan stormed down the bleachers and out of the gym before Sooyoung could (and probably really wasn’t going to) do anything to her.  
  
Petty arguments were just their thing and the fire in them didn’t last long. They were back to being on speaking terms within the following day.  
  
But when the times they spent hidden away in their own little corner were good, they were good.  
  
“When I was ten, a boy at the pool thought it would be funny to throw me in.”  
  
Sooyoung gasped. “But you can’t swim.”  
  
Seungwan nodded, impressed that Sooyoung remembered that detail from a previous conversation consisting of twenty questions. “I was flailing around screaming for somebody to help me. My dad came running over and he just stopped.”  
  
“Why? Why didn’t he jump?”  
  
“He didn’t need to. He yelled, ‘Son Seungwan, you stand up right now’.” She facepalmed at her own retelling. “The water didn’t even reach my neck.”  
  
Sooyoung's laugh boomed, echoing across the gym. “So you were always dramatic.”  
  
“I was ten!”  
  
“My point exactly.”  
  
She threw a piece of broccoli at her and Sooyoung retaliated. They ended up with more vegetables on the floor and seats than in their mouths.  
  
Seungwan didn’t know what to make of these moments. Maybe she was scared to figure it out. They churned up things buried deep. Things she had forgotten or turned into negatives. Like the sound of Sooyoung’s laugh when it came from deep in her belly. Laughs that knocked her over onto her side and scrunched up her eyes.  
  
Or like the curve of her lips when she smiled.  
  
Or like the texture of her voice.  
  
Seungwan was caught by her voice one lunch period where Sooyoung was retelling a story about a wild party she and Yerim went to once. Seulgi had to pick them up before a fight broke out before Yerim bit off more than they could chew. Seungwan didn’t completely believe the story. Sooyoung had a way of exaggerating details but it was fun to listen.  
  
Fun to listen to her voice.  
  
Her voice that reminded her of another that she listened to drone on and on within the safe confines of a booth.  
  
Her brow furrowed. Wait a second—  
  
“Hello? Are you listening?”  
  
A finger thumped her hard in the forehead. Seungwan blanched. “Hey!”  
  
“You weren’t listening.”  
  
Seungwan rubbed at the sore spot in the middle of her head. She could already tell it was turning red. “So you had to assault me?”  
  
“Pay attention to me!”  
  
“Ugh, you’re so needy.”  
  
“It’s not being needy.” Sooyoung pouted. “It’s called being polite.”  
  
Seungwan scoffed, offhandedly muttering under her breath as she started cleaning up their mess of a lunch. “I’m surprised you know what that means.”  
  
“Why do you do that?”  
  
There was hurt in her voice. Something Seungwan had never heard there before. She looked up, meeting hard eyes and pursed lips. “Do what?”  
  
“Make me into the villain.”  
  
She opened her mouth to retort but stopped herself before she could shoot out something snarky and sarcastic.  
  
Putting the last of the containers away, she shrugged. She couldn’t look Sooyoung in the eye all of a sudden. She was feeling vulnerable. That’s how Sooyoung always made her feel, which always pushed her into the defense, barring her off with a tongue with a lash like hers. Right now, things were different. Sooyoung was split open too and it softened her.  
  
“You’ve been the villain in my story for a long time,” she admitted.  
  
Sooyoung’s hard gaze let up. Guilt was reflected there and she turned away, brow pulling in. “So write a new one. I think I deserve a redemption arc.”  
  
It was a terrible apology but Seungwan was no better. She figured that’s just who they were. Bad at words but they understood each other.  
  
“You’re right,” she offered. “I’m sorry “  
  
Sooyoung grabbed her bag. “Let’s go.”  
  
Getting up, Seungwan followed after, convincing herself that the red that colored Sooyoung’s ears was a trick of the gym lighting and nothing more.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
“I think I’m close.”  
  
Seungwan perked up. This was her favorite seven minutes of the day. “Close?”  
  
“To getting through to my Great Wall of China-sized Crush.”  
  
Seungwan laughed. “It’s that big?”  
  
“Love knows no bounds.” This one was dramatic. It was entertaining.  
  
“What’s next?” she asked.  
  
The girl hummed. “Making sure.”  
  
“That?”  
  
“That we’re friends.”  
  
Seungwan cocked an eyebrow. “How are you going to do that.”  
  
“Don’t worry. I have a plan.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Another evening of rain resulted in them sharing one umbrella again. She wouldn’t admit that there was some part of her that hoped to find Sooyoung lounged in the entrance lobby and she wouldn’t think too much of it that Sooyoung was probably purposely waiting for her.  
  
It didn’t matter anyway. Keeping dry and avoiding a cold was important. That’s right. That was all.  
  
She didn’t mind Sooyoung’s elbows and shoulders bumping into her. She didn’t mind that her bag was getting a little wet for them to both fit. She didn’t mind that Sooyoung was droning on about other girls on her team and new practice drills.  
  
After years of only being talked down to or overlooked by Sooyoung, it was a welcomed change. She was actually speaking to her. Just speaking. Normal. It was something Seungwan didn’t think would ever happen.  
  
“So what do you think we are now?” asked Sooyoung.  
  
“What are you talking about?” They stepped off the bus and started on the path home. The rain had let up a little but a steady drizzle still fell.  
  
“Oh, you know.” Sooyoung shrugged. “We were kind of friends—”  
  
“No, we weren’t.”  
  
“—then we were enemies. What about now?”  
  
Seungwan didn’t know why, but that question made her uneasy. She pursed her lips. “I’d say we’re at a stalemate.”  
  
“That’s good, isn’t it?”  
  
She glanced up to get a look at Sooyoung’s face. She was staring straight forward, the knuckles of her hands that clutched the straps of her backpack gone white. Was she nervous? Her tone didn’t lend itself to it but her body was radiating a strange energy that was making Seungwan uncomfortably aware of how close they were to each other. “Why does it matter?”  
  
Sooyoung’s brow furrowed, clearly hurt. “Why doesn’t it matter to you?”  
  
Seungwan rolled her eyes away from her. She couldn’t look at Sooyoung right now. “It doesn’t _not_matter to me.”  
  
“What does that even mean?”  
  
Through the gray haze, she could see Sooyoung’s building up ahead. Good. The sooner they got there the sooner they could drop this conversation and Seungwan would be able to breathe again. “What do _you _mean?”  
  
“I mean, why is it hard for you to consider that maybe we’re friends?”  
  
She guffawed, loud and sardonic. “We are not friends.”  
  
Sooyoung stopped walking and Seungwan had to jerk back to keep them both covered. “Why not?”  
  
Seungwan’s shoulders locked up. Everything was starting to lock up. Her jaw tightened. Despite the coolness brought by the rain, her skin was heating up and she could feel her hands start to sweat and the uncomfortable clamminess on her back.  
  
She licked her lips, stalling for a second more to find an answer. Anything. “We just aren’t.”  
  
“But why?” Sooyoung pressed, tone one part offended and one part irritated. “Can’t you see I’m trying?”  
  
Seungwan’s brow creased in confusion, her eyes narrowed. “Trying to what?”  
  
“Never mind.” She stormed off, leaving the safety of the umbrella.  
  
“Hey!” Seungwan chased after her, irritation boiling over in her gut. “What is up with you?”  
  
_“Me?”_ Sooyoung shrugged Seungwan away, evading the shelter of the umbrella that Seungwan futility kept trying to get her back under. “You’re the one acting like I just asked you to steal the test answers for the entire class when all I want to be and have been trying to be, is your friend.”  
  
That hit a nerve. And like a domino effect, everything came barreling down. “Friends? We can't even have lunch in the public eye! I don’t think you’re ready for a title like friends.”  
  
Sooyoung rounded on her, scandalized. Rain slid down the lines of her hair, steaking along her face like tears. She looked so offended and defeated that it squeezed Seungwan’s heart. “I thought you were okay with going to the gym.”  
  
“I am, but—” she struggled to find her bearings. She didn’t like how unhinged this was making her feel. She didn’t like what Sooyoung had stirred up. “How long are you going to hide us from your friends?”  
  
How long was she going to feel only good enough as a secret? How long until she was cast aside? How long until Sooyoung crushed the fragments of her heart that Seungwan had already started to drop into her palm?  
  
“Us?” Sooyoung smirked.  
  
Electricity shot through her. It choked her. Made her stomach whirl. Made her chest singe. _Us.  
_  
There was never an us and now there was something and Sooyoung was throwing words around like friends. It was too much for Seungwan to take in. She was feeling too much. Sooyoung had inadvertently unlocked a hidden box inside of her and everything was spilling out—all the butterflies that made her woozy and bashful and all the dragons that ignited the flames of her fears. Sooyoung was both of those things.  
  
“You know what I mean,” Seungwan stammered. Her heart was hammering against her chest. “People might talk but they’ll only do it if you let them,” she spat. “I thought you said you weren’t ashamed.”  
  
The words registered like a slap on Sooyoung’s face. “I’m not!”  
  
Seungwan scoffed if only to keep herself from feeling regret for what she had said. For what she was saying. But she couldn’t help it.  
  
“Fine!” Sooyoung foot stomped on the ground, splashing up streams of water. “If that’s what it takes.”  
  
All the fire in her suddenly burned out. “Wait, I didn’t—”  
  
The door slammed in her face.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
None of it seemed like a good idea. But Sooyoung gave her no choice.  
  
The next lunch they had, Sooyoung veered away from their usual path to the gym and directed them toward the cafeteria.  
  
Seungwan was a mess. Fidgety. Nervous.  
  
She stayed in Sooyoung’s shadow as they weaved through the masses. She felt like everyone was looking at her. Scrutinizing her. Questioning her presence. She kept her eyes down, trying not to draw any unwanted attention to herself and rerunning one bad scenario after another on how terrible this lunch period was going to be.  
  
She could see the table they were headed for. There were a few players, both football and volleyball, but the ones that stood out were the minions, Seulgi and Yerim. Seungwan’s stomach was in knots that tightened and tightened and tightened with each step closer they took.  
  
“Hey,” Sooyoung greeted like it was any other day.  
  
The others mumbled back their hellos, each oblivious to the random person that was tailing their teammate. It wasn’t until Seungwan sat down in suit of Sooyoung who noisily dragged out her chair did things get awkward.  
  
Seulgi was the first to catch sight of her with an expression that belonged to a cartoon character the way her mouth shaped a perfect ‘O’ and her eyes widened. She didn’t give Seungwan a mean look. She just looked at her like it was the first time she had ever seen her. Like she was some transfer student that no one knew.  
  
Yerim followed their captain’s gaze doing a perfect double-take at the strange entity that was in her presence. Her eyes jumped from Sooyoung to Seungwan in a not so silent inquire of, “who and what the hell is going on?”. Seungwan wished she could melt into the plastic of her chair.  
  
This was a bad idea. A horrible, awful, terrible idea.  
  
“You guys know Seungwan,” said Sooyoung. No easing in. Just one hundred percent from the start. It was always better to rip off the bandaid and Seungwan was thankful that Sooyoung didn’t make her introduce herself.  
  
Some of the other players tossed glances but didn’t care much. Yerim was still too busy trying to make sense of the situation while Seulgi did the honors of breaking the awkward silence and offered her a smile that was all pleasantries and nothing more.  
  
“I’m Seulgi.”  
  
It had to be the first time the girl ever spoke to her. They didn’t share classes and their paths never crossed. She had such a sweet voice and a kind face. An extreme contradiction to the crowd she walked with.  
  
Seungwan nodded, returning her polite smile the best she could. “I know.”  
  
“Oooh, a know it all, huh?” Yerim slithered out, looking to others at the table to back up her little jab.  
  
“And what about it?” Sooyoung swooped in, cutting anyone off at the knees.  
  
Yerim’s neck snapped in her teammate’s direction, eyes widened in betrayal. Sooyoung matched her stare, challenging her. Seungwan held her breath, counting down until the nuclear bomb went off.  
  
Three.  
  
Two.  
  
One—  
  
“Yerim,” she mumbled. Seungwan blinked. That was all. Crisis...averted? “Hi.”  
  
Those were the only words she spoke to her the rest of lunch. Seungwan was fine with that. She’d rather pick through her food unbothered than sludge through painful conversations that no one wanted to have.  
  
She just listened to them talk.  
  
She thought the table would be full of gossip and rumors and other mean things. Instead, it was full of volleyball jargon and class stress and dates that they could hang out and catch movies or maybe a sleepover or two.  
  
Seungwan should’ve known better than to think that these girls were actual monsters. She concocted all of that out of fear and defense. It was easy to hate someone when you painted them as terrors.  
  
“Happy now?” asked Sooyoung as they walked back to class.  
  
She wasn’t sure if she could say that Operation Nerd Infiltration of the Popular Posse was a success but it didn’t totally tank. By the end of the lunch period, Seungwan garnered a few more smiles from Seulgi along with a question or two and Yerim didn’t try to poison her food.  
  
So, yeah, not the best but not all bad. Even so, she didn’t feel like she won anything.  
  
She had tossed all night after the argument she had with Sooyoung the previous day. It was unfair. Sooyoung was just trying to...do whatever it was she was trying to do—trying to be. And Seungwan kept striking her down. Denying her. Pushing her away.  
  
“You didn’t have to do that,” said Seungwan.  
  
Sooyoung scoffed. “Yes, I did.”  
  
“Look.” Catching Sooyoung by the arm, Seungwan stopped them ways down from the classroom. “I’m sorry for blowing up on you the other day. I believed you when you said you weren’t ashamed.” It was true. She didn’t mind the gym. She didn’t mind having Sooyoung to herself. “I don’t know why I acted like that.”  
  
But she did. She knew, and instead of saying it outright, she made Sooyoung prove herself. Made her go through a test even though she knew that the Sooyoung from before wasn’t the Sooyoung of now. It was her own insecurities that did it and she felt bad for not admitting it in the first place. But admitting it meant she had to admit other things to herself. Like how she was starting to feel about—  
  
“This isn’t a gimmick, you know,” said Sooyoung. “You don’t have to be scared of me.”  
  
“I’m not.” She really wasn’t. She was scared of what Sooyoung could do to her not Sooyoung herself.  
  
She was scared of the growing Sooyoung shaped slot in her chest that she was filling up more and more every day. She was scared of the thought of them being actual friends. She was scared if only because, if they were something, then that would be something to lose. She didn’t want to lose.  
  
Sooyoung’s lips parted in surprise. “You’re not?”  
  
“No.”  
  
She beamed something more of a smirk. “Well, good.” Sooyoung stabbed a finger into her forehead and pushed making Seungwan stumble back. “We’ll try again tomorrow.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Sooyoung was leaned against the lockers across from the student council room when she walked out at the end of the day, thumbing at her phone in a school-branded hoodie and her practice shorts. Her hair was still a little damp after the shower she had in the locker room so it fell in wavy strands around her shoulders.  
  
It was a sight to see. Seungwan caught herself staring before breaking her eyes away. She looked up and down the hall, eyebrow quirked upward at the unusual sight. Since when did they wait on each other after school?  
  
“Are you lost?”  
  
“Seungwan, hey!” Pocketing her phone, Sooyoung pushed off the lockers and bounced over like a little puppy excited to see their owner come home. She must’ve noticed she was grinning too brightly and dulled it down to a low watt. “How do you feel about calculus?”  
  
It was the bane of her existence. “Why?” she asked and began down the hall toward the exit.  
  
Sooyoung fell into step beside her. “Because I feel gross about it and we have that exam coming up.”  
  
Seungwan nodded, waiting for her to continue. After a few seconds of silence, she looked up to find Sooyoung staring at her expectantly. Seungwan’s brow furrowed. What did she—Oh. Wait.  
  
“Are you asking for help?” asked Seungwan.  
  
“I mean if you insist.”  
  
“If _I?”  
_  
“We could go to your place.”  
  
Seungwan choked. “Wait a second—”  
  
“Great.” She clapped her hands together. “Are you ready to go now?”  
  
“Do I have a choice?”  
  
She flashed a gummy grin topped off with a wink. “No.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Having Sooyoung over was already awkward. Having her parents inquire about her and why Seungwan never brought her friends around was even worse.  
  
She hurried Sooyoung along up to her room before more damage could be done and was tempted to lock the door. She knew how her parents were. They were the busy type who didn’t have a lot of time to give to her so they were a little overzealous when they knew their daughter wasn’t as much of a loner as they feared.  
  
She prayed her mom wouldn’t bring snacks up or that her dad wouldn’t pop in ungracefully trying to get more information on this mystery friend they never heard about.  
  
She appreciated them and their worry but this wasn’t the time.  
  
“Your parents seem nice,” Sooyoung commented. “What do they do?”  
  
“My dad is a nurse and my mom teaches Korean and English classes for adults.”  
  
“That’s neat.” Sooyoung meandered through the room, inspecting every little surface her eyes could fall on. It made Seungwan overwhelming self-conscious.  
  
She didn’t have anything really embarrassing in her room except a pile of laundry that she hastily gathered off her desk chair and dumped in her closet to be dealt with later before Sooyoung could see her banana printed panties.  
  
The rest of her room was typical, she thought. A couple of posters from movies she liked—the vintage kind. String lights over her window because she saw it on Pinterest once and thought it was cool. Little trinkets on her dresser and bookshelf that she’d collected over time. Too many books so they overflowed from the shelves in a second stack topped with a teddy bear she won in a claw machine. Her desk, riddled in character sticks, had a computer screen and a monitor and a lamp. Beneath was a bundle of vinyls stacked next to PlayStation games and DVDs.  
  
“I didn’t know you were a gamer,” said Sooyoung, moving over to the bundle of games.  
  
Seungwan scratched her back of her neck. “I don’t play much.”  
  
“Oh, I like this one!” She plucked out one and examined the front cover before flipping it over to the back. “I never finished though.”  
  
Seungwan was shocked. “You play video games?”  
  
“So, there was this guy I liked in secondary school who was obsessed with gaming.” Sliding the game back into place, Sooyoung pulled out another. “Mostly the shooting stuff. At first, I just wanted him to like me but he turned out to be kinda lame. I liked the games though. Even if I don’t have time to play anymore.”  
  
“You could borrow it if you want.”  
  
“Really?” Sooyoung looked up at her from where she was crouched, holding the first game she had pulled out again.  
  
“I’ve beat it three times already.”  
  
Laughing, she stood up to put the game into her back. “Wow, you really are a colossal nerd.”  
  
Seungwan narrowed her eyes. There was something very familiar about that sentence...  
  
“So, are we going to study or what?”  
  
Seungwan rolled her eyes. She was so annoying.  
  
Grabbing another chair from the kitchen, Seungwan brought it up so Sooyoung could sit with her and cleared off the desk to make room for their books and notepads and flicked on the lamp.  
  
Tutoring was her thing. Sooyoung wasn’t the first person to ask her for help but she was the first one Seungwan brought home to do it and she was the first one that made Seungwan feel like she couldn’t breathe.  
  
She sat so close! Her elbows took up a lot of room and she had a habit of putting her face too close or leaning in further than necessary to see what Seungwan was pointing out in the textbook. It was throwing her off. Making her skin hot.  
  
She had to reach over and turn on the fan. It was so warm. She didn’t know if it was because her parents forgot to change the thermostat stat or if it was the breath she felt against her neck that caused static to race down her spine and burn in her stomach.  
  
“Does that make sense?” Seungwan sat back, removing herself from the danger zone and swallowed hard. No matter what she did she couldn't erase the heat.  
  
“Let me try.” Sooyoung snatched the calculator from Seungwan’s hands and typed out numbers and function shortcuts.  
  
At first, Seungwan watched the screen, checking her work and giving her guidance when she hit a snag. But then her focus shifted and she found herself watching Sooyoung.  
  
She got this certain face when she was concentrating hard. It created a tiny wrinkle in her brow and she tended to chew on her tongue so the tip of it poked out at the side of her mouth. When she was confused, her nose scrunched up then loosened into a smug grin when she figured it out and kept going.  
  
Seungwan felt a smile before she could stop it. Sooyoung was...cute. Adorable even. Not like it was brand new information but there had been layers and layers of angry feelings and hatred covering it up. That wasn’t there anymore and she couldn’t easily cast the thought aside. Not when Sooyoung was right there. Not when she was stripped of her glares and teases and taunts. Not when she was being her raw self.  
  
Not when she was so loveable.  
  
“Like that?” Sooyoung turned suddenly.  
  
Seungwan got distracted by the wide intensity of her eyes. The way she looked at her with expectation and need for validation. Seungwan never noticed how clear her eyes were or how rounded and soft her cheeks were. And her lips—  
  
Her gaze flickered down finding her mouth parted slightly.  
  
—her lips were so pink and soft.  
  
Wow. Sooyoung really was gorgeous. She really was gentle. She really was warm underneath it all. Always had been. It never went away. Seungwan found herself yearning for that warmth all over again. Wanting to reach out and take it and keep it close. She didn’t want it to fade away. She didn’t want this—whatever this was blooming between them—to disappear. Sooyoung said friends but...but what if it that wasn’t all?  
  
“Is it right?”  
  
The question snapped Seungwan back to attention. “Uh—” She quickly diverted her eyes to the calculator to check the answer then reviewed what she had written down. “Yeah, that’s right.”  
  
“Yes!” She dropped the calculator like it was a mic.  
  
“Hey!”  
  
“Sorry!” Sooyoung squealed, hands making little fists that she pumped in the air. “I can’t believe I finally got it!”  
  
“You already understood most of it. Only a few steps were missing.”  
  
Despite what anyone else thought, Sooyoung was smart. She always had good marks though most didn’t pay attention to those when there was something more visually noticeable as playing volleyball. Which she was also good at. Seungwan would know. She ran concession stands at enough games to see her.  
  
“You’re a really good teacher.” It was a simple compliment but there was nothing simple about the look of gratitude and admiration Sooyoung was giving her.  
  
Seungwan’s neck flared red hot. She wasn’t used to this Sooyoung. She didn’t know if she liked it. False. She knew she liked it. She also knew that it freaked her out. And not necessarily in a bad way.  
  
“Are you hungry?” Seungwan blurted. She needed a break. A break from numbers and a break from suffocating beneath Sooyoung’s overwhelming presence.  
  
She pouted. “Starving.”  
  
Seungwan bit her lip. Pouty Sooyoung was new and it was making her swoon a little bit. “We should eat.”  
  
“Ho-kay.”  
  
Seungwan got up before her thoughts could run away from her.  
  
Except there was nothing to do about her racing heart.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
After dinner, Sooyoung insisted on getting ice cream. Gifted a couple bucks from her dad, Seungwan walked them to the convenience store a few blocks away.  
  
“Mint chip is disgusting.” Sooyoung’s nose turned up at Seungwan’s treat of choice.  
  
Seungwan glared, hugging the carton to her chest. “Mint chip is not for the weak.”  
  
“You? Not weak? I could break you easy.”  
  
She snorted. “I’d like to see you try.”  
  
She didn’t think Sooyoung would do anything. She should’ve known better. Sooyoung always exceeded her expectations. Now was no different.  
  
Arms circled around her and squeezed. Hard. Seungwan thrashed in her hold, trying to get away but Sooyoung held firm, tossing her playfully from side to side and laughing loud and raucous in her ear as Seungwan hollered and wheezed in her arms.  
  
“Okay, okay, okay!” She yelled. “Point made!”  
  
Sooyoung let up but didn’t exactly let go. Seungwan spun out of her lingering hold and stepped back, fixing her hair into place and catching her breath. “You Sasquatch.”  
  
She tossed her hair haughtily over her shoulder in triumph. “We’re getting chocolate.”  
  
“Fine.” Seungwan didn’t dare challenge the monster again. Not after nearly being crushed to death. Or the tingling that was still running all up and down her skin from being crushed so close to her. Her warmth was ingrained into Seungwan’s body and she couldn't shake it.  
  
Paying at the counter, Seungwan led them out. Sooyoung wasted no time getting to the ice cream. Ripping off the seal, she opened up the carton and dug out two spoons she snagged from the ready-made food section.  
  
“Here.”  
  
Taking the offered spoon, Seungwan scooped out a chunk. Smooth, chocolatey goodness filled her mouth and she dug in for another bite, pleased with the decision (to which Sooyoung childish stuck out her tongue with a very elementary _“I told you so”_).  
  
It was strange. It actually felt like they were...friends. Maybe they were. No. She couldn't keep denying it. They were.  
  
If this was how Sooyoung really was, Seungwan didn’t understand. Why so many years of animosity? Why so many years of wishing the other would die in a fire? Why so many years of acting like they had each committed the most unforgivable crime against one another?  
  
“Why were you always so mean to me?” asked Seungwan.  
  
Sooyoung’s shoulders lifted and dropped in a shrug. “You know how high school is,” she mumbled around a mouthful.  
  
They all knew how it was. It wasn’t as exaggerated as the movies and shows made it but there was a separation of power. There was a social understanding of who was “better” than the other. In that context, it made sense why they were always at odds. But between the two of them, things felt particularly directed at one another.  
  
“But, why you?”  
  
Sooyoung tilted her head up to the sky, eyes glittering in the beam of street lamps. When she spoke, her voice was incredibly clear and solid. “I was jealous.”  
  
“Jealous?” That was entirely unrealistic. She had to make sure she hears right. “Of _me?”  
_  
Sooyoung let out a heavy breath and stabbed her spoon into the ice cream. Seungwan decided not to nag her about germs. They were sharing an entire carton after all. Cooties had already been swapped.  
  
“You’re really smart,” she said finally. “Like, stupid smart. I always tried to be but I couldn’t and I hated that. I knew I’d never be able to get an academic scholarship so I decided to be good at volleyball. I never wanted to play, but if it meant that my grandma didn’t have to work extra to try to help me through school, I would do it.”  
  
Seungwan had that same feeling she had while eating lunch with Sooyoung and the other players. The feeling of realization that she had placed them in some perfect box where they resided with their ideal and perfect lives.  
  
“I know that’s not fair to you.” Her foot scuffed the pavement as they stopped at a crosswalk, head dropping in shame for her honesty. “You were so effortlessly good at everything you did. It made you kind of an outcast but that’s because others were intimidated. So, they made fun of you. But you didn’t care that people made fun of you for it. I couldn’t do that.”  
  
“You’re wrong. I did care. I do.” Seungwan licked her lips. The chocolate flavors left there didn’t taste so sweet anymore. “Especially when it came from you.”  
  
“Why me?”  
  
She started off the curb, crossing the street slowly. “Do you remember first year when we had that exchange student?” She waited for Sooyoung to nod before continuing. “Everyone made fun of him because he wasn’t good at Korean. One day, some of the football players were teasing him and you stopped them. You took him away and told him it was okay if he wasn’t that good.”  
  
Seungwan smiled. She doubted Sooyoung even knew others were around. Seungwan was on her way to class and stopped at the water fountain when she saw it happen outside the doors to the locker room.  
  
She remembered Sooyoung stomping over to them looking two meters tall even against a group of boys who outmatched her. Words of threats flew off her tongue and she gripped the boy’s wrist, ripping him away from the crowd before any more damage could be done.  
  
“I used to help out in the library during free period,” Seungwan went on. “I saw you helping him study. You even found language books to copy notes from and help translate when you couldn’t always understand each other.”  
  
Her lashes fluttered in a surprised blink. “You...saw all of that?”  
  
Seungwan nodded. After all this time, she never forgot about that Sooyoung. She never forgot that there was gold beneath the rust.  
  
“I was so mad.” Seungwan coughed out an empty laugh. “You were so nice to him but you could be so cruel sometimes.”  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
Seungwan shook her head, slowing them down at the end of the walkway that led up to her house.  
  
“Do you want to know the worst part?” Seungwan looked up, finding Sooyoung’s gaze. Her eyes were so gentle and soft. Warm. It almost made her lose her breath—lose her train of thought. “No matter how much you teased me, I couldn’t actually hate you. I wanted to be like that exchange student. I wanted you to steal me away into the library. I wanted that Sooyoung to look at me.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Because you did once before.”  
  
There was a reason she remembered that lab project so vividly. Since they didn’t finish in class, they had to meet up after school to get the rest done.  
  
With no one else around, Sooyoung became the Sooyoung she saw helping the exchange student. She let herself be herself. She laughed when Seungwan made a mistake but didn’t tease her so harshly. She made jokes and she showed actual astonishment when Seungwan took control and got everything to work.  
  
She would give Seungwan looks like she was the coolest person on earth, and in those couple of hours they spent together, Seungwan thought things would be different but they weren’t.  
  
Recently, she saw glimpses of it. Tiny little tales when Sooyoung thought she wasn’t looking. But Seungwan was always looking. Always saw her.  
  
Now they weren’t just glimpses. They were full stories left there for Seungwan to read and try to decipher. And though she liked how things were going, she couldn’t help but be scared. When would Sooyoung get bored of her and cast her aside? When would Sooyoung come to her senses and desert her? When would Sooyoung realize Seungwan was a nobody and break her heart?  
  
“Maybe I was scared,” Sooyoung whispered.  
  
“You? Scared?” Unbelievable.  
  
“Of how you made me feel.”  
  
Seungwan stilled. What did that mean? What did she mean? And why did it create waves in her stomach?  
  
“How—“  
  
“I should go home,” Sooyoung said before Seungwan could stumble over the words she was going to say. “Thanks for helping.”  
  
She blushed. Soft Sooyoung would take some getting used to. “You don’t have to thank me.”  
  
“Whatever, dingus.”  
  
Wait.  
  
Dingus?  
  
Seungwan’s eyes widened.  
  
“I’m taking this.” Sooyoung snatched the carton of ice cream from her hand, a strained smile on her lips. “Bye.”  
  
Seungwan stared after her as she started down the sidewalk.  
  
Pieces started to fall into place.  
  
Oh, no.  
  
No.  
  
It couldn’t be.


	3. Chapter 3

She didn’t think she had ever been so nervous about going to school. The dreaded yet exciting first day of a new year didn’t have anything on walking through those doors post determining that the girl you used to hate was quite possibly the person who you’d been speaking to in a secret telling booth and may have a crush on—  
  
Seungwan couldn’t even say it. It was just so _ridiculous._  
  
Her first tactic was going to be to avoid her. Yeah. At least until she could get her head together. Except Sooyoung left her stuff at her house the night before and she had to be the nice person she was and return it.  
  
Walking into class, her eyes immediately fell on Sooyoung. She was just sitting there at her desk playing on her phone like it was any other day. Hair down. A crease of concentration in her brow. Uniform neatly pressed. A boy next to her leaned over to tell her something that made her laugh. Seungwan was so caught up on the sound of it that she tripped on her feet, the momentum of it throwing her right into Sooyoung’s desk.  
  
Laughter cut off and eyes zapped to her. The smile Sooyoung had faded away and her eyes widened in concern before it was whisked away by a blank expression aside from the specks of red that found a place on her cheeks.  
  
“You, uh—” Seungwan looked over to see the boy watching her. Or he probably wasn’t. No one was probably paying attention to her aside from Sooyoung. But her nerves told her otherwise and she clammed up the way she used to always do in the girl’s presence. “You forgot this.”  
  
She sat her bag down on the desk.  
  
Sooyoung didn’t quite let her attention focus on her, eyes shifting uneasily. “Oh. Thanks.”  
  
_Oh, thanks? _That was it? That was weird. No, that was good. Seungwan was let off easy.  
  
“You’re welcome.”  
  
Walking to her desk, Seungwan sat down.  
  
Sooyoung glanced over her shoulder and their eyes immediately locked. It wasn’t Seungwan who broke their gaze this time though. It was Sooyoung, neck snapping around like she was ashamed of being caught.  
  
Seungwan was stuck on own nerves to wonder why the all-confident, unshakable Park Sooyoung was acting like a shy little school girl with a crush. Oh, wait. She _was _a shy little school girl with a crush.  
  
Heat took over Seungwan’s face causing color to fill it up. She dropped her face into folded arms to hide herself away. How could this be? This couldn’t be.  
  
Sooyoung wasn’t the girl from the booth. No. No way.  
  
But she’d find out soon enough.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
It was that time of day. _That_ time of day. The time where Seungwan would perk up in anticipation of the latest update from the mystery girl who routinely visited her booth.  
  
Today, however, Seungwan’s anticipation was giving her stomach ulcer-inducing anxiety.  
  
The hinges on the door creaked and in stepped the next guest. Seungwan held her breath, listening to the legs of the chair scratch the floor and the plastic squeak as the person sat down.  
  
She took in a breath. “Welcome to the—“  
  
“I messed up.”  
  
Seungwan snapped to attention. She was all ears. All focus. All tingles and nerves and beating heart.  
  
“Hello?” they said into the silence. “Are you still there?”  
  
Seungwan couldn’t breathe.  
  
“Seriously? I’m paying for this service it’s rude to waste my time.”  
  
That voice. That sass. That quip. How didn’t she recognize it sooner? There was no mistaking. There was no questioning. This was Sooyoung. Had always been Sooyoung.  
  
“I’m here.” Seungwan cleared her throat and shifted. Despite what she knew, she had to do her job. “How did you mess up?”  
  
“I almost, sort of, kind of, quarter way confessed.”  
  
That’s what that was. When Sooyoung said something about how she made her feel.  
  
Warmth spread all throughout Seungwan’s body. To think, ever since that first year, she had occupied a portion of Sooyoung’s thoughts. She had always been there, floating around just the same as Sooyoung had always been some unremovable thorn in Seungwan’s side. But that thorn had now become a blossoming flower with roots that had grown around her heart  
  
“Oh, no.” That’s all she could croak out.  
  
“I couldn’t help it!” Sooyoung groaned. Finally, Seungwan was able to see how this entire situation had been affecting her. “We were having a great time together and then she asked about before and...” she tapered off. She didn’t need to explain. Seungwan was there. “I’m such an idiot.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“She wanted to be friends this entire time! And I—I ruined it.” The sigh she gave was heavy of guilt. “No wonder it’s felt like I’ve been against some immovable force.”  
  
Seungwan’s heart was in her throat. She wasn’t wrong. Seungwan had kept a stronghold against Sooyoung. She’d built up protections and barriers and safeguards. In the weeks they’d spent together, they had been chipping away and Sooyoung had been finding her way through them like roots breaking through the pavement.  
  
“Are you going to one hundred percent confess?” asked Seungwan. Her mouth was dry and she was sure she was going to spontaneously combust if Sooyoung said—  
  
“I don’t know if I can.”  
  
—not that. Seungwan relaxed a fraction.  
  
“What if she says no?” said Sooyoung. “What if she thinks I’m punking her?”  
  
Seungwan wondered herself. Would she say no? She certainly knew that Sooyoung wasn’t playing some sick trick on her. And it wasn’t just some flimsy little high school crush either. Sooyoung wasn’t trying to use her or make fun of her. She really, honestly, wholeheartedly wanted her.  
  
Seungwan took in long, heavy breaths. The booth was burning up. She was burning up. From the way her heart was beating she was certain she was close to cardiac arrest.  
  
Sooyoung _wanted_ her. Oh, boy. She needed to control herself.  
  
“Weren’t you getting closer?”  
  
“We were. We are. I think.” Sooyoung hummed in thought. Seungwan wanted to tell her, yes. Yes, they were getting closer. They were closer. Closer than Sooyoung knew. “I don’t want to mess things up. I feel like I’ve just gotten her to trust me. What if I tell her and she freaks out?”  
  
Seungwan swallowed hard. Too late for that. She was already freaking out. She couldn’t imagine what she’d do if Sooyoung actually said it directly to her. Right now she wanted to melt. She wanted to jump up and down. She wanted to lock herself in the maintenance closet and never come out.  
  
“What if she doesn’t?” Seungwan all but whispered.  
  
Sooyoung snorted. “That’s what I dream of but in reality, it’s hard to believe.”  
  
_Dream of. _If Seungwan wasn’t sitting, she was sure her knees would’ve given out. Sooyoung had been thinking about her. Had been dreaming about her. It was so incredibly cheesy but Seungwan couldn’t deny what those words did to her insides. She was Sooyoung’s dream girl.  
  
“I just don’t know what else to do,” Sooyoung continued. “I’ve done everything. I apologized, I was myself, I got to know her. I even told her things about me. I told her about my grandma and my parents. No one else knows about that. Not even my teammates.”  
  
Seungwan’s face drained of color. If she wasn’t sure this was Sooyoung before she was now.  
  
“Please refrain from giving personal information in the booth.”  
  
“Sorry.” She huffed. “It’s just that, I really like her. It’s been so hard not to just yell it at her. I almost did! But you should’ve seen her face when I even hinted at how I felt. That scared the crap out of me.”  
  
Seungwan bit into her lip. Her mind was racing as fast as her pulse. She could hardly wrap her head around it. To think Sooyoung had held her higher than the friends she was close to. To think she had shown parts of herself to Seungwan that she normally kept a tight lid on. To think it was her all along.  
  
There were hundreds of girls in the school. So many pretty, nice, smart girls. Girls who were anyone other than her. Seungwan could name a couple who she’d guess would catch Sooyoung’s eye. Ones much better matched for someone like Sooyoung. Sooyoung who deserved the world for her strength and deserved praise for her honesty. She deserved someone who was just as much as a rock as she was.  
  
Not _her. _Not Son Seungwan.  
  
It was crazy. There was no way Park Sooyoung could have a crush on her. Yet, here they were. No matter how much she tried to spin it, take herself out of the equation, toss theories onto someone else, the facts came back with a big fat glaring arrow that pointed at her. The information lined up. All of it did. Every interaction they had was parroted back to her in Sooyoung’s own words in the booth. Each gradual ascend from the animosity shared between them to the rocky middles to whatever they were classified as now. To the previous night. To now.  
  
“Maybe it’s not you,” said Seungwan. Because it wasn’t. It hadn’t been. “Maybe she still needs time.”  
  
“Do you think so?” Sooyoung sounded so hopeful.  
  
Seungwan felt the weight of it in her gut. “You’ve done all you can. It’s her turn.”  
  
“Maybe you’re right.”  
  
She knew she was. Sooyoung had done so much. Sooyoung had left a trail of breadcrumbs that Seungwan had been too blind to see. Everything was laid out so perfectly and Sooyoung had exposed herself so openly. Seungwan couldn’t believe she didn’t see it sooner. But she hadn’t been looking and now all she could see was Sooyoung and her massive heart and the space she had opened up for Seungwan to slot herself into.  
  
“We’re out of time,” said Seungwan.  
  
“Already?”  
  
No, but Seungwan couldn’t sit there any longer. “Unfortunately.”  
  
“Okay,” she humphed with a sad sigh.  
  
Seungwan deflated.  
  
What was she going to do?  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
The excuse of having student council duties to attend to saved Seungwan from any lunchtime shenanigans. Not that it looked like Sooyoung was going to ask her. Since the morning, Sooyoung had avoided contact with her, keeping it to the minimum and only when she had to.  
  
So Seungwan went to the library instead. She needed to think. She needed to examine everything.  
  
Finding a table out of the line of prying eyes, she sat down and replayed every conversation she had with Sooyoung in the booth and ran it against every interaction they had in person.  
  
One particular time stood out. When Sooyoung asked if Seungwan would understand if she was in the same situation. Little did she know she _was_ in the situation. Saying that she would try to understand didn’t apply so much anymore. She knew exactly where Sooyoung was coming from, everything she felt, her insecurities, her heart, her depth.  
  
Seungwan was feeling lightheaded. Maybe a little woozy.  
  
She didn’t need to be afraid. Sooyoung wanted to be with her and had been trying to be. There were no ulterior motives, there wasn’t a catch, there was no shoe about to drop.  
  
The bars she had over her heart in regards to Sooyoung were opening up. All that she felt those years ago being lab partners that she had been trying hard to keep at bay were free to leak out. She hadn’t really lost that Sooyoung. It was hidden and buried the same as Seungwan had done with what she felt.  
  
And if Sooyoung was allowing herself to be set free from her past self then Seungwan would allow herself to open back up and maybe let Sooyoung completely claim her heart.  
  
“Seungwan?”  
  
Her neck snapped up. She relaxed when she saw it was only Joohyun. She walked over to the table she was at with a worried smile. “Are you okay?”  
  
“Great! Studying.”  
  
Joohyun’s eyebrow lifted, eyes glancing down at the table void of books or notes. “Well, okay. Don’t forget you’re in charge of running the bake sale auction at the end of the week.”  
  
“I’m on it.” She offered a thumbs up. Nodding, Joohyun turned to go. “Hey, Joohyun.” She stopped. “Do you think we could swap secret keeper booth times? I want to use that time for extra entrance exam prep.”  
  
It only seemed fair. The fact she knew as much as she already did felt wrong. It made it seem like she was puppeteering her own love story. And what if Sooyoung found out it was her all along? Would she be mad? Embarrassed? Would she hate her all over again? It didn’t matter. At one point, she would have to tell her. Until then, she would remove herself from the equation. She would go about things the proper way.  
  
“Sure.”  
  
Relief washed through her. “Thank you.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Sooyoung was off.  
  
A couple of weeks ago, Seungwan wouldn’t have noticed. At least not as intensely as she did now. She was hyper-aware of everything that was Sooyoung.  
  
She knew she told Sooyoung to give her crush time but that didn’t mean she didn’t want her to not talk to her! Still, Seungwan had to commend her. She listened to everything Seungwan said in the booth and applied it, albeit not always executed in the best of ways. E for Effort and effort she put in. That said something. It told Seungwan that Sooyoung meant business. It told Seungwan that Sooyoung was certain about her.  
  
The thought made Seungwan giddy, distracting her thoughts away from class. The lesson went over her head. She was too focused on the girl a couple of desks up who hadn’t chanced a look in her direction since that encounter in the booth. That was two days ago. And surprisingly, Seungwan was the one about to combust if another day went by without Sooyoung’s loud ass voice demanding her attention or the glance of her shy smiles she would cast at her when she didn’t think anyone was looking or her homemade lunches that she claimed she made too much of but in reality, Seungwan knew she made enough for the both of them to share.  
  
Wow. What was wrong with her? Was this how Sooyoung felt all this time? This yearning, needy pull and desire for the other girl’s presence? This pesky irritation of the other person not seeing you? Not realizing that you’re right there, open, and ready, and willing? This frustration of not knowing if every little thing you did would set you ten steps back or launch you two steps forward?  
  
She suddenly understood why Sooyoung said it was Seungwan who scared her. She was too busy worried about her heart getting played with that she didn’t stop to consider that she was playing with Sooyoung’s.  
  
Eyes shifting to the clock, Seungwan watched the second-hand ease the minute hand closer to the top of the hour. It would be lunchtime soon. Maybe today would be the day. Maybe they’d go back to their routine. Maybe Sooyoung would lose her resolve and crumble.  
  
The bell rang and Seungwan hurried to snap a picture of the board to write the notes down later. People got up, grabbing their things and linking up with friends. Seungwan held her breath, waiting for Sooyoung to turn around and beckon her over. Tell her it was time to eat. Tell her to, “hurry it up we don’t have all day!”  
  
But she didn’t. Again, she didn’t.  
  
“Sooyoung.” The name was out of Seungwan’s mouth before she knew it.  
  
Sooyoung froze, her back going stiff as if a lead beam had been speared down it. Turning, she found Seungwan with curious, expectant eyes. There was even a hint of shock that she erased quickly into false indifference. Incredible. No wonder Seungwan didn’t catch on sooner. Sooyoung had been acting so cool and confident though she was anything but.  
  
“Yeah?” Sooyoung’s eyebrow lifted.  
  
Seungwan panicked. What was she going to say? She hadn’t thought that far. Hell. She hadn’t thought at all! Her brain worked overtime. She needed to think. She needed to say something.  
  
“What, no lunch demands today?” she quipped lightly.  
  
The corner of Sooyoung’s mouth tugged up in the slightest smirked. Arms pulled over her chest and she tilted her chin up in that charmingly haughty way she had about her. “Wow, did I condition you that quickly?”  
  
There was her Sooyoung.  
  
_Her _Sooyoung. Goosebumps spread across Seungwan’s skin.  
  
“I still have my free will.”  
  
Sooyoung’s eyes narrowed, her smirk pulling more into a smile. “Well, what does Miss Free Will want to do?”  
  
Oh. She was giving her a choice. She was putting the ball in her court. She was letting Seungwan take the lead. “Gym?”  
  
“Fine.”  
  
Sooyoung didn’t turn around fast enough for Seungwan to miss the smile that burst across her face.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Lunch was different this time. Something had shifted. Something definitely shifted. And Seungwan couldn’t stop staring at her.  
  
It was like the curtains had been thrown open. All the lights had come on. The fog had dissipated. She could finally see Sooyoung clearly and she was enamored with what she saw. Part of her had always seen it. Always been peeping between the blinds, searching for a glimpse. Now it was right there and glaring and Seungwan’s stomach was all over the place and her eyes kept zapping to Sooyoung’s mouth when she chewed and just...  
  
What would it be like to kiss her?  
  
“Are you...good?” Sooyoung’s brow was pulled into concern as she chewed slowly, examining the girl in front of her.  
  
Seungwan quickly blinked away, turning her focus onto the food they were eating. A faulty swipe sent grains of rice across the bleachers and she burned red because she knew Sooyoung was silently judging her clumsy wastefulness. “Fantastic.”  
  
“Why are you being so weird?”  
  
She snorted as she used a napkin to clean her mess. “Why are _you_ being so weird?”  
  
“I’m literally just sitting here eating my lunch.”  
  
“Exactly.”  
  
“What?”  
  
She flushed. Seriously, what? “Nothing.”  
  
Sooyoung’s face was all sorts of confused. Seungwan felt like a moron. Honestly. She was better than this. Smarter. She was number two in the entire school for goodness sake. Throw a crush—a beautiful, talented, kind-hearted, bit of a sass pants, brutally honest, persevering crush—at her and she might as well be at the bottom of the list. It wasn’t a stretch to say that Park Sooyoung made her stupid. But maybe she didn’t mind that too much.  
  
“Seriously, are you okay?”  
  
She straightened out, finding her composure. “Yes.”  
  
How did Sooyoung do it? How was she so calm and confident and beautiful all this time without letting her feelings turn her into a bumbling bimbo in the face of the girl she was crushing on? Sooyoung said once that acting wasn’t her thing but Seungwan would beg to differ.  
  
Unfortunately, Seungwan couldn’t help it. She felt like that lab day all over again. Nervous and excited. Warm. But it was amped up now.  
  
“Whatever, creepo.” Sooyoung picked up a can of soda and popped open the tab. She took a sip, pausing to lick her lips before she asked, “If you’re not busy after school, could you help me with something?”  
  
Again, Sooyoung was giving her a choice. No demand, just a question. She was allowing Seungwan to hold the reigns. “What is it?”  
  
She shrugged. “Nothing you can’t handle.”  
  
Seungwan narrowed her eyes. “Is this another ploy to get into my house?”  
  
“No.” She rolled her eyes. “I seriously need your help with something. If you had a problem with that, you didn’t have to let me over.”  
  
“If I had a problem with it, I wouldn’t have let you.”  
  
Sooyoung side-eyed her. “Good to know. It’s hard to tell with you. You can be super hot and cold at times.”  
  
That was fair. The Seungwan a couple of months ago would’ve gone on the defense. This time she relented.  
  
“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you before,” said Seungwan. “I didn’t think I could. I didn’t know how to.” She paused to laugh at herself. This entire time, she was going off a false, rage connoted image of who Sooyoung was. With the girl’s heart exposed to her, she knew who Sooyoung was to her core and she liked what she saw. Was comforted by it. “That night you came over—everything you said—I know that I can now.”  
  
Sooyoung’s face colored. Seungwan wished she knew what she was thinking. They both spilled a lot under street lamps. So many raw words and emotions. Seungwan couldn’t believe how much she said but Sooyoung had an effect on her. One that made her blurt out things she would’ve normally kept in her head. She made her do things she normally wouldn’t. She made her feel things she would rather not feel.  
  
Or she used to not want to feel. Now there was no caging them. They were out. Flying erratically, bumping against the insides of her stomach like moths against a lightbulb.  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
Seungwan tugged in her brow. “For what?”  
  
“I’m sorry I was mean to you.” Her voice was soft. Delicate. Each word she said was weighted and honest. “Back then, I didn’t notice that you wanted to be…” She tapered off, obviously struggling to find the right way to say what she wanted. Sooyoung? Nervous to say something? Her frustrations got the best of her and she sighed. “I’m sorry, okay?”  
  
Oh no. There goes her heart again. Now was her moment to put finally put out the last of the flickering flames that still remained between them. Now was the time to show Sooyoung that all her efforts hadn’t been wasted.  
  
“I forgive you.”  
  
Sooyoung’s eyes went wide. “You...do?”  
  
Seungwan nodded. “You don’t have to be scared of me.” Sooyoung’s lips parted in surprise and her eyes dropped to the hand that extended out to her. “Friends?”  
  
Sooyoung blinked. Color deepend on her cheeks as she slipped her palm against Seungwan’s who fluttered at her touch. It lingered longer than what a handshake needed to be.  
  
“Ugh, gross.” Sooyoung snatched her hand back. “Can we go back to where you yell at me?”  
  
“I never yell at you.”  
  
“So, that was a lie.”  
  
“No, it’s not!”  
  
Sooyoung pointed a finger at her. “Then what was that?”  
  
Seungwan huffed and flicked a grain of rice at her.  
  
The humiliation of getting an entire spoonful thrown at her face was worth it if only to hear Sooyoung’s bursting laugh.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Help, she found out, was being an extra set of hands on a grocery store run (to which Seungwan ended up carrying the most of them).  
  
It was the first time she had been inside of Sooyoung’s home. It was small. Just one room. In the corner, Seungwan saw a folded stack of blankets and a pillow she figured was used by whoever slept on the couch. From the admission of Sooyoung keeping the nature of her home life away from her friends, Seungwanwas all the more appreciative of the world she had been trusted and allowed to enter.  
  
“You can set them on the counter,” said Sooyoung, leading them into the kitchen.  
  
Letting the bags down, Seungwan stood back, idling awkwardly by the doorway as Sooyoung worked to pack everything away. She kept a few items out and fished in the oven for a skillet and a pot. Placing the skillet on one of the burners, she seemed to remember Seungwan then.  
  
“Do you want to stay for dinner?”  
  
“I—“ She stopped the decline on her tongue. That was an old reflex—one that wanted to evade Sooyoung as much as possible. Things were different now. Sooyoung was different. She was different. “I would like that.”  
  
Sooyoung’s face lit up but she quickly changed it. “Then you can help.” She tied up her hair into a ponytail. Seungwan always did like her in a ponytail. “Do you know how to chop vegetables?”  
  
Not well but she would try her best. Her best gained her a lot of laughs and a few scoldings and a shoo away from the counter before she could do any more damage.  
  
“I guess you can’t be good at everything,” said Sooyoung, laughing at her botched job.  
  
Seungwan winced and hovered close by watching Sooyoung make perfect cuts that made her work look like mutant specimens. “Sorry.”  
  
Vegetable done, Sooyoung tossed everything into a pot. After a few minutes, she spooned out a taste and moved the pot off the burner, letting the boiling subside. Taking a sip, she smacked her lips.  
  
“Grab that bottle,” she said to Seungwan, pointing across the kitchen. “The one with the yellow label.”  
  
Retrieving it, Seungwan brought it over. Sooyoung pinched seasoning into her fingers and sprinkled it in.  
  
“Come here.”  
  
Seungwan blinked. “What? Why?”  
  
“I’m not going to bite you. Come here.”  
  
She walked over and Sooyoung handed her the spoon. “Stir. You _can_ do that can’t you?”  
  
Grumbling, Seungwan elbowed Sooyoung out of the way and took her place at the stove. Picking out a few more seasonings and spices, Sooyoung tossed them in while she stirred.  
  
“Seriously?” Sooyoung deadpanned.  
  
“What? I’m stirring!”  
  
“God, not like that.” A hand folded over hers and guided it with force. “Like this. You want to make sure everything gets mixed up and the seasoning reaches all the way to the bottom.”  
  
Seungwan waited for her to let go but she didn’t. She stayed there, one hand on hers while the other absentmindedly pressed fingers against the elbow of the hand holding the pot handle.  
  
“Am I doing better, chef?”  
  
“Yeah.” Sooyoung’s voice was like syrup and honey in her ear and her breath was the lick of a flame against her neck. “Better.”  
  
She was so close. If it wasn’t for the boiling she was sure Sooyoung would hear her heart beating.  
  
“I think it’s done.”  
  
Reaching forward, Sooyoung went to flick off the burner. Seungwan held her breath as her body pressed against her from behind, locking her against the stove. At the touch of her cheek against hers, Seungwan drew in a breath. Sooyoung jerked away from her then, removing every part of her body that was touching her all at once.  
  
Their eyes met briefly. Sooyoung was the first to break it with a dust of pink across her nose. “Can you move? I need to test it.”  
  
Seungwan gave up the spoon making sure their fingers didn’t touch and stepped aside.  
  
The taste test this time resulted in a pleased nod. “You didn’t ruin it. I guess I won’t have to grind you up as a substitute.”  
  
Seungwan placed a hand against her chest, giving a dramatic sigh of relief. “Thank the gods it’s not ruined then.”  
  
“Thank the gods,” Sooyoung repeated with a giggle. “You’re funny.”  
  
The front door opened then bringing in Sooyoung’s grandmother. She greeted Sooyoung with a smile and looked over curiously to the stranger in her home.  
  
“This is Seungwan,” Sooyoung introduced.  
  
“Ah, the pretty one.”  
  
Sooyoung’s face turned red as Seungwan’s ears.  
  
“It’s nice to meet you.” Seungwan bowed. “We made dinner. Everything’s ready.”  
  
“You girls eat.”  
  
Seungwan bowed again as Sooyoung's grandmother left to go to the bedroom. Sooyoung followed after leaving her alone in the kitchen. She took the time to calm herself down. To try to rid of the soapy bubble feeling in her stomach.  
  
Did Sooyoung talk about her to her grandmother? Did her grandmother know? She could hear then speaking softly from the other room. A quick conversation about each other’s day. Sooyoung’s voice was full of affection and concern as she spoke to her grandmother. It was so different from what Seungwan was used to. What she was sure anyone was used to. It softened every part of Seungwan. Just being in the apartment had toned her down and made her receptive.  
  
“We can eat,” said Sooyoung when she returned.  
  
Setting the table, they sat down around it, legs crossed beneath. From all the shared lunches they had, there was no reason for Seungwan to be taken aback by the dinner but she was just as, if not more, impressed with every bite.  
  
“To be honest, I was a little worried about how it would turn out,” said Sooyoung to Seungwan’s compliment. “You really are bad at cooking.”  
  
“Maybe you can be my tutor this time.”  
  
Sooyoung’s smile across the table was snagged on her lip—an unhidden show of bashfulness. “If you want.”  
  
“I’d like that, too.” She offered a smile back.  
  
That shift she had noticed from lunch in the bleachers was even more apparent now. Where had their arguing gone? Where had the malice gone? Where had the tense moments of uncertainty and scrutiny and accusation gone? For the first time, they just were. They were comfortable and Seungwan couldn’t help but let her imagination run wild. Is this how they could always be? Is this how warm being with Sooyoung would always feel? It this what honest love and affection felt like?  
  
“Are you done?” asked Sooyoung.  
  
Seungwan nodded after a look over her empty plate. She was stuffed. “Should we prepare a plate for your grandma to eat later?”  
  
Sooyoung blinked as if she was surprised Seungwan would suggest such a kind thing. “Yeah, we can.”  
  
Getting up, Seungwan helped her scoop leftovers into a bowl and pack away side dishes into containers and store them in the fridge before cleaning up the rest of the plates and taking them to the sink to wash.  
  
“What does your grandma do?” Seungwan took a newly-washed plate from Sooyoung to dry and placed it in the cabinet.  
  
“She works at a small produce market with one of her friends.” She squeezed soap into the pot and grabbed a sponge, scrubbing the sides. “She keeps the books and helps pack orders for delivery. I help during breaks.”  
  
“You’re a lot different than you show at school.”  
  
Sooyoung’s nose scrunched. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”  
  
“Both. I like this Sooyoung—good thing.”  
  
Shutting off the water, she shook out her hands. Seungwan offered her a towel to dry them properly. “And the bad thing?”  
  
“I like that only I get to see it.”  
  
Sooyoung snorted but it did nothing to cover her flush. Shyly, she used the towel to wipe up the water that had gotten on the counter. “How is that bad?”  
  
“It’s selfish.”  
  
“So?” She turned to face her. Seungwan found herself trapped again. Stuck between the counter and Sooyoung who bit into her lip as she looked her down, eyes lingering on her mouth. “Maybe I like it that you’re selfish.”  
  
Seungwan swallowed. Her heart was hammering again and her stomach was frantic. Now was her chance. Now was the time to come clean. Everything inside of her told her to tell the truth—to let Sooyoung know that she knew.  
  
“Sooyoung…”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
She licked her lips and swallowed to wet her throat. The words were right there on the tip of her tongue.  
  
She took a breath.  
  
She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t tell her.  
  
“Thanks for letting me stay for dinner,” she said instead.  
  
“Oh, It’s whatever.” She shrugged.  
  
Just like that, the moment was gone.  
  
“Do you want to get ice cream before you go home?” she asked.  
  
Seungwan nodded. “Your pick.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Drastic times called for drastic measures.  
  
“Welcome to the Secret Keeper Booth. Where your secrets are safe and you can kiss your worries goodbye.”  
  
Seungwan closed her eyes in shame. She couldn’t believe it had come to this.  
  
“I have a dilemma,” she said.  
  
“Seungwan?”  
  
“You’re supposed to pretend that you don’t know me.”  
  
“But your voice.”  
  
“Joohyun, please. The rules.”  
  
“Okay.” She cleared her throat. “What seems to be the problem?”  
  
Seungwan opened her mouth but nothing came out. It was different being on the other side of the booth. She never realized how nerve-wracking it was despite being anonymous. There was still something vulnerable about speaking words you never spoke to anyone else. And Seungwan had a lot of words in her that she had never spoken to anyone.  
  
They were new and fresh and young. They were scary but they were exciting at the same time.  
  
“It’s okay,” said Joohyun. “Take your time.”  
  
She groaned. Maybe this was a bad idea. No. It wasn’t. This was the best way to help her hash out all the mess that was in her head and to make sense of the torrent going on in her heart.  
  
“I have a crush.” She stopped there, holding her breath in the millisecond of silence that passed before Joohyun simply replied with an,  
  
“Alright.”  
  
She didn’t know what she was expecting after that. Maybe laughter? Insult? The floor to open up and suck her down into it? Maybe hellfire to smite her off the earth?  
  
None of that was going to happen though. Because as Joohyun said, it was alright. A crush was a crush was a crush. It had seemed so massive in her head but saying it out loud brought it all into perspective.  
  
She had a crush. She liked someone. She liked Sooyoung. The admission of it spilled magma out of her heart and into her veins. She was burning from the inside out and she almost couldn’t take it anymore.  
  
“They like me, too,” she went on. That was so weird to say. Still unbelievable. But, god, did it make her feel so damn good.  
  
“So, what’s the problem?” Joohyun made it sound so easy. Like it was obvious what the next step should be. Sure, the next step should’ve been to make the connection but-—  
  
“I’m not supposed to know that they do but I do and I feel guilty.”  
  
“Why do you feel guilty?”  
  
“I wasn’t supposed to know before they were ready to tell me. I feel like I cheated in my own story.”  
  
It sounded so silly out loud. It wasn’t like it was secret knowledge. If she paid attention to the clues it was glaringly obvious. And maybe if Seungwan hadn’t had the privilege of being on the other side of that booth, she probably would’ve figured it out sooner or later. Maybe she wouldn’t have believed it so readily but that wasn’t important  
  
“Did you intentionally find out?”  
  
“It was an accident.”  
  
“Then you didn’t do anything wrong.”  
  
Joohyun was right. And as soon as she found out, Seungwan separated herself. But that wasn’t the issue here.  
  
“I don’t want to be dishonest with them.”  
  
“So, fell them.” Oh, Joohyun. As practical as ever.  
  
“How?”  
  
“You...just tell them.”  
  
Easy for Joohyun to say. She wasn’t the one stuck in the situation. She wasn’t the one who had a years-long crush buried beneath years of animosity suddenly ripped away like opening your eyes to the sunlight after only experience darkness.  
  
“I don’t know...”  
  
“If they like you back, shouldn’t they be understanding?”  
  
“You don’t know them. They’re like a box of chocolate. You never know what you’re going to get.”  
  
Joohyun gave a thoughtful hum. “Is their reaction worse than your guilt?”  
  
Probably not. Seungwan would never be able to confess what she felt without letting Sooyoung know that she was the one on the other side of the booth. They went hand in hand and neither would be easy.  
  
How would she even phrase it?  
  
_I know you like me and I like you, too.  
  
You confessed to me already so I guess I should do it back.  
  
So, funny story. Do you remember that one time in that booth..._  
  
Horrible. Awful. Terrible.  
  
“I guess I’m just afraid.” Seungwan shrugged.  
  
“Of what?”  
  
“Of them possibly hating me.”  
  
Funny. The roles were reversed. She never knew she would’ve reached a point where she would care so much if the Park Sooyoung, terrible terror, hated her. Or didn’t like her. Or wanted nothing to do with her.  
  
Because Seungwan wanted what Sooyoung wanted.  
  
“It would be a waste,” she continued. “It took months for us to get to this point. I don’t want to ruin it.”  
  
Again.  
  
If she really thought about it, this wasn’t a couple of months' journey. It was a couple of years journey. The war was over. They had laid their weapons down.  
  
“You can’t ruin what hasn’t even happened yet.”  
  
Oh. Yeah.  
  
And nothing could start until Seungwan said something about it.  
  
“You’re right.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
The timer went off on Joohyun’s side.  
  
“Thanks got listening.” Seungwan stood up to go.  
  
“You underestimate how much she wants and trusts you.”  
  
Seungwan froze. “What?”  
  
“Thank you for coming.” She could hear the sly smile in Joohyun’s voice. “And good luck.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Today was it. Today was the day.  
  
Seungwan was going to tell her.  
  
She had a plan.  
  
Not too early. She didn’t want class to be weird. Not during lunch. She didn’t want to sit through the rest of it eating in awkward silence. It had to be the end of the day where she could let the words fly carelessly and hurry home giving her enough days to calm down and start the next week fresh.  
  
The entire day felt like a dream. She went over what she was going to say in her head more times than she could count. She had them memorized like a perfectly executed monologue ready to wow the masses.  
  
It was Academy Award-winning.  
  
It was show-stopping.  
  
It—  
  
The bell rang.  
  
—was time.  
  
Seungwan fumbled with her books, stuffing them carelessly into her bag. Her eyes locked on Sooyoung up ahead, watching her pack her stuff away. With a swipe of the hand, she hoisted her bag into her shoulder and started toward the door.  
  
Crap. Seungwan wasn’t fast enough.  
  
Taking up the last of her things into her arms, Seungwan scrambled to her feet, chasing after a swaying ponytail just as it breached the threshold.  
  
“Hey, Sooyoung!“  
  
She spun around, eyes darting around faces until she found Seungwan.  
  
“Hey, sorry,” Sooyoung winced. “I can’t talk. Coach scheduled an extra practice today. Gotta run!”  
  
She was swallowed up into the crowd quicker than Seungwan could take another breath. It seeped out of her like a deflating balloon. So much for her plan. Though maybe she wasn’t too upset about it. The way her mouth had gone dry and her heart felt like it was in her throat and the waves in her stomach were enough to make her nauseous would’ve turned her confession into a blubbering, bumbling, barbaric mess.  
  
She sighed. Regardless, she had to do it. She had to get it over with. There was still a chance. With a student council meeting, she would get out around the same time Sooyoung finished practice. That was better. Seungwan would do it then after they’re both completely finished with everything.  
  
It was perfect. It was the right thing to do. It was—  
  
She stuttered in her step, coming face to face with Sooyoung standing across the hall by the lockers. The rest of the student council members filtered out around her, bidding their goodbyes and happy weekends that landed on deaf ears. All Seungwan could concentrate on was—  
  
“Sooyoung?” She blinked. That perfect monologue became a jumbled mess of words in her brain.  
  
“Why do you look so surprised to see me?”  
  
She must’ve been in a rush getting out of the locker room to catch her. Her hair was braided so the ends fell over the shoulders of her navy and goldenrod volleyball sweatshirt and her knee pads were still on. Not even the sweat had time to cool on her brow. Just the thought of Sooyoung rushing to see her turned Seungwan’s inside into pudding.  
  
“Did you run here?”  
  
“What? No!” She pursed her lip, putting on a face as she worked to steady her breathing. “I kinda blew you off after class so I wanted to make sure I caught you.”  
  
“Oh.” The jitters crept up from her legs into her stomach into her neck and into her tongue making it heavy. She couldn’t get it out. “It...isn't anything important.”  
  
“It isn't?”  
  
“No.”  
  
Her eyes narrowed. “Are you lying?”  
  
“No?”  
  
“Sure you’re not.” She rolled her eyes. “Is your meeting over?”  
  
“It just ended.”  
  
“Great. Let’s go.” Sooyoung started off.  
  
Seungwan instinctively followed her. “Go?”  
  
“Home? Or I can leave you here.”  
  
She gritted her teeth. Despite all the flutters Sooyoung made her feel, there would always be that little bit of endearing annoyance. “I’m already walking, aren’t I?”  
  
Strange. They had never done this without rain. Maybe she was grateful for that. It kept her from being too close to Sooyoung which always served to mess up her thoughts. She took advantage of the time they had getting to the bus stop and the ride to their next stop to regain all her brain cells.  
  
“Why do you look constipated?”  
  
Seungwan almost missed the last step off the bus at the question. She recovered quickly and rolled her eyes, waking passed Sooyoung who had exited ahead of her.  
  
“I do not.”  
  
“You kind of do.”  
  
Seungwan bumped her with her shoulder only making Sooyoung laugh. Goodness. She was terrible at hiding things. She wasn’t but this entire ordeal was making her feel constipated. She just needed to hurry up and get it out.  
  
Now.  
  
“So—” they both started at the same time.  
  
“You go,” said Sooyoung.  
  
“No, you.”  
  
“You!”  
  
“It’s nothing. Just say it.”  
  
“Ugh, why are you like this?” Sooyoung grumbled but didn’t press further. “What I was going to say is, we’re having our big game this weekend. You’re coming.”  
  
“Please goes a long way.”  
  
_“Please,_ will you come or not? I have a free ticket and I want you to have it.”  
  
“I guess if I don’t have anything better to do.”  
  
“You don’t.”  
  
“How do you know?”  
  
Sooyoung deadpanned. “Yeah, you definitely don’t. Anyway”—she stopped walking. There was a change in her expression. Her eyes shifted and her weight tettered from one foot to the other. When she spoke, she couldn’t quite look Seungwan in the eye. “There’s a party afterward to celebrate our win—“  
  
“That’s a little presumptuous.”  
  
“—and I needed a date.” Her eye roll was exaggerated. “I guess you’ll do.”  
  
_Date. _Oh. Oh no. Seungwan’s knees shook.  
  
“Are you asking me out, Park Sooyoung?”  
  
Seungwan had witnessed a couple of new things with Sooyoung in the last few days. Like her blush. Her surprise. Her gooey soft center oozing through. Seeing her completely fall apart, all gears failing at once was the newest yet.  
  
She quickly recovered, forcing on a furrowed brow and putting a hiss in her voice. “Don’t be difficult! I need you there.”  
  
Seungwan stomach was a mess of butterflies. She didn’t have it in her to be snarky or sarcastic back. All she had was the truth. “I’ll go with you.”  
  
“That’s what I thought.” She flicked Seungwan’s forehead, the shock of it sending her backward. “Bye then.”  
  
Seungwan watched as Sooyoung bounded up toward her apartment.  
  
Yeah...so much for her plan.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
It was just a game but Seungwan stressed about what she would wear. All Sooyoung ever saw her in was her school uniform. Now she had to put effort into her clothes. Especially if she was going to a party.  
  
She groaned. Why did she say yes to that? How was she supposed to hold it together the entire night? Not only with Sooyoung but surrounded by people who had been against her first for much of her high school career.  
  
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Yeah. If Sooyoung wanted her there, then she would be okay. She would be safe. Nothing to worry about.  
  
Picking a flannel and jeans, she decided that was good enough and headed to the school.  
  
It was decently packed considering and Seungwan was swept into the sea of patrons sporting either navy and gold or black and green. She had never been to a game just to watch before. She had always been on concession stand duty or running the scoreboard. She didn’t know what to do with herself or if she should find Sooyoung or go up to the ticket booth and give a name. Would it be under hers or Sooyoung’s? Was she supposed to get a physical one? They hadn’t talked it through. What if Sooyoung forgot?  
  
She was saved from any more anxiety when she caught sight of a very familiar jersey number across the way. Seungwan couldn't help but smile as she watched Sooyoung crane her neck up, trying to sift through the crowd with her eyes for someone. With Seungwan’s height, there was no way she would’ve ever found her.  
  
“Aren’t you supposed to be warming up?”  
  
Sooyoung whipped around at the address, shock hitting her when she realized it was Seungwan. Her eyes swept her completely. Head to toe, taking Seungwan in. It was subtle but she didn’t have to question if Sooyoung liked what she saw. It was very apparent in the way her eyes lingered and her mouth parted. But the moment was short-lived with the onslaught of a wrinkled brow.  
  
“Finally! What took you so long?”  
  
“Sorry?”  
  
“Here.” Sooyoung handed her a ticket.  
  
Seungwan glanced it over. “This is your comp ticket.”  
  
“Duh.” She knocked her knuckles lightly against Seungwan’s forehead. She had learned by now it was one of her many, weird ways of showing affection. Seungwan could live with that as long as it didn’t cause any bruises. “Are you still coming tonight?”  
  
“I’m here, aren’t I?”  
  
“I mean the party.”  
  
“Why wouldn’t I?”  
  
“I don’t know!” She crossed her arms. She was being incredibly defensive and shy about it all. “Maybe you changed your mind or something.”  
  
Please.” Seungwan snorted. “I’m a reliable date.”  
  
Sooyoung’s cheeks flared. “So you’re for sure coming?”  
  
Seungwan let up on the teasing. She could tell the night was important to her. So she gave her the assurance she needed. “Yes, Sooyoung.”  
  
“That’s what I thought.” Sooyoung smiled.  
  
“Wow, clean up on aisle six,” hollered a grating voice right into Seungwan’s ear. “We’ve got drool on the floor over here.“  
  
Sooyoung’s soft smile instantly evaporated. “You’re not funny, Yerim.”  
  
“You’re right, I’m hilarious.” She winked at her teammate then turned to Seungwan. “Sorry, I need to steal her. We sort of have a game to win.”  
  
“Right. Sorry.” Seungwan stepped back. “Good luck.”  
  
Yerim pulled her away and Seungwan found her way into the gym. She had seen many volleyball games but she never cared much about them until tonight. And even though she knew Sooyoung was a good player, it never really mattered to her until now.  
  
As soon as the players made it onto the court to music and cheers, she had all eyes on her. Seungwan had seen Sooyoung play enough to know she always gave her all but she could tell she was giving a little extra tonight. She figured it was because they were up against their rivals but the few glances Sooyoung tossed into the bleachers after she found where Seungwan was sitting made her think that she was putting on a good show for her as well.  
  
Not that she needed to. Seugnwan already knew she was one of the best.  
  
Sets came and went until they were at the last. Whoever won, would win the entire game and everyone was on edge. Sooyoung was focused, her eyes trained on the ball and muscles coiled. Both teams had put in their best and they were down to the last few points that would determine the end result.  
  
Seungwan was up on her feet with the rest of the crowd. The set was tense. People shouted in the bleachers while players hollered praises and encouragements and directions from the sidelines.  
  
Sooyoung was up at the net, her height giving her the advantage. She worked the area flawlessly with power in her movements to keep the opposing team from slamming the ball down into the court.  
  
The ball went back to their side of the net. Yerim hit a bump, tossing it forward where Seulgi lifted it back up in a set in Sooyoung’s direction. Seungwan held her breath as she watched her muscles tighten, body launching up to go for a spike. Two opposing players matched her height, rising up for a block. One of their footings was off.  
  
“Sooyoung!” Seungwan found herself yelling.  
  
Her voice was drowned out by the commotion of the crowd and the collective gasp as the opposing player flew into the net, colliding with Sooyoung. She was thrown backward, body connecting with the floor hard where she slid and didn’t get up.  
  
The whistle blew. A medic on standby rushed onto the court.  
  
Time out.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Seungwan made her way for the locker rooms.  
  
The game had long been over and Sooyoung didn’t return to the floor the rest of the time. And when the other players jumped and danced and hollered in praise over their win, Sooyoung slipped out with her head hung low.  
  
Seungwan ran into Seulgi at the door who was on her way out, all cleaned up and neatly dressed for what Seungwan figured was for the party.  
  
“She’s still back there,” said Seulgi.  
  
Bidding her thanks, Seungwan slipped inside. Trailing the rows of lockers, she found Sooyoung sitting on one of the benches cradling an ice pack.  
  
At the sound of footsteps, Sooyoung groaned. “I said I’m fine, Seul. Go away.”  
  
“If that’s what you want.”  
  
Sooyoung turned around. Her eyes went wide before they narrowed accompanied by a firm purse of the lips and a shameful look away. “Oh. It’s you. Hey.”  
  
“‘It’s you, hey’? That’s all I get?”  
  
“I could’ve left you on go away.”  
  
Fair.  
  
Seungwan eased down onto the bench beside her.  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
“Do I look okay?”  
  
Not in the uninjured sense but she looked just as cute as ever. Even post-game, knot on the head Sooyoung was lovely to look at. Not just because of her physical attributes but because of the strength and the poise she was emulating now.  
  
Seungwan smirked. “It’s hard to tell from that giant—“  
  
“Do not.” She silenced her with a single finger in the air. Seungwan pulled her lips into her mouth deciding not to poke the beast. Especially not when her eyes went soft and rounded. “Is it really that bad?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Tell me the truth.” She squared her shoulders in Seungwan’s direction and peeled back the bandage.  
  
Seungwan’s eyes drew to the nasty, red splotch on her forehead. It was scraped up and looked worse than what it was. Unlike the horrible softball sized bruise that had formed neatly on her thigh where the other player's knee had smacked.  
  
“Well?” She sealed the scar back up.  
  
“It’s not that bad.”  
  
Sooyoung pushed on a smile only for a frown to take its place. Her bottom lip trembled and she turned away just as she started to cry.  
  
“Hey, hey, hey what’s wrong?” Seungwan tried. “I promise. It doesn’t look bad. It’s going to heal just fine.”  
  
“That’s not why I’m crying, dingus.”  
  
Seungwan winced. “Does it hurt?”  
  
“Duh but—“ she peeked back at Seungwan. Red colored her cheeks when she saw she was being stared at. “Can you stop that? I don’t want you to see me like this.”  
  
“Like what?”  
  
“Pathetic!” She threw up her hands. Using the end of her jersey, she wiped her face. “I was supposed to show you a good game tonight. Not this.”  
  
Seungwan bit into her bottom lip, trying to keep her smile at bay. “Are you crying...because of me?”  
  
“Tonight was supposed to be our night! I was going to kill it tonight then we were going to dance at the party and have fun and now it’s all ruined and—“ She groaned, head dropping back against the lockers. “This is so embarrassing.”  
  
Tonight was supposed to be _their _night. Their? Did she mean…? Seungwan’s chest lit up. Did Sooyoung plan to ask her tonight? Was that why it was such a big deal? Why she kept making sure Seungwan said yes to coming?  
  
“Hey,” Seungwan cooed, hand pressing against Sooyoung’s thigh in comfort. “Forget about all of that. You won tonight. You played hard and you were amazing.”  
  
Eyes rolled. “You don’t have to try to make me feel better.”  
  
“I’m not.” Sooyoung cut her a look. Seungwan relented. “Okay, I am trying to make you feel better but I mean it. You really were amazing. You always are.”  
  
She scoffed through a sniffle. “As if you pay attention.”  
  
“I do. I always have.”  
  
Sooyoung tilted her head down off the lockers, meeting Seungwan’s eyes with watery ones. She stared at her like rang for a long second, eyes shifting from one of Seungwan’s to the other.  
  
“Seungwan, I—“ she licked her lips, giving her a moment's pause to rid of the soft tremble in her voice. “I need to tell you something.”  
  
Seungwan’s chest fluttered. There it was. This was it. It was now or never.  
  
“I know,” said Seungwan, “but there’s something I need to tell you first. Okay?”  
  
Sooyoung’s brow furrowed in confusion but she nodded anyway. Lifting off the bench, Seungwan walked across the locker room toward the light switch.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
She turned to Sooyoung, offering a nervous smile before she plunged them into darkness.  
  
“Welcome to the secret keeper booth where your secrets are safe and you can kiss your worries goodbye.”  
  
The lights flicked back on.  
  
Sooyoung stared at her.  
  
A second ticked by..  
  
Then another.  
  
And another.  
  
Sooyoung’s eyes narrowed. “You.”  
  
Seungwan had to swallow around the nervous lump in her throat. “It was me.”  
  
The confirmation brought an odd sort of expression across Sooyoung’s face. Not one that Seungwan was familiar with. She couldn’t tell what she was thinking or what she felt. And every moment that passed by twisted Seungwan’s stomach into more and more knots.  
  
“How long have you known?”  
  
“Not until last week.”  
  
“Oh.” Sooyoung shifted. “I get it now. There was someone new…” Sooyoung trailed off, eyes dropping into her lap where her fingers were fidgeting with the ice pack.  
  
Crap. She screwed up.  
  
“It didn’t seem right to keep listening,” said Seungwan, trying to save the moment. “I swear I didn’t know before then. If I did, I never would’ve kept it going. I promise I’d never—“  
  
A hand lifted, cutting her off. Seungwan’s mouth clicked shut. She stood still, watching as Sooyoung slowly brought her head and her eyes back up. She was as cool and collected as always but Seungwan knew better than to think she was just that.  
  
“So what?” asked Sooyoung.  
  
“I don’t know what you mean.”  
  
She snorted but it wasn’t angry. “Yes, you do.”  
  
She did.  
  
But she didn’t know what to say or how to phrase it. This wasn’t her domain. This wasn’t her territory. Crushes and heart fluttering things weren’t like a test and she had no idea of how to ace this pop quiz she was just given.  
  
“I…” she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t say it.  
  
“Oh, come on.” Sooyoung gave a laugh that sounded more like a whine. “I’ve already had a crappy night and you’ve just stolen the one shining moment I could’ve had tonight. So help me, Son Seungwan, if you don’t—“  
  
Rushing across the room, Seungwan took her face into her hands and kissed her.  
  
It was short and sweet. Over faster than Seungwan felt that it was. And when she drew back to look Sooyoung in the face, she knew exactly what to say.  
  
“I like you, too, dingus.”  
  
“I hate you,” Sooyoung muttered, glaring sheepishly up at her. Not the response Seungwan was expecting but the giddy little smile on Sooyoung’s lips told of something different. “Seriously, how do you do it? How do you make everything seem so effortless?”  
  
“Trust me. This wasn’t.” If Sooyoung could feel her pulse she would know.  
  
“But this is.”  
  
Pulling her down, Sooyoung kissed her long and deep and Seungwan couldn’t agree more. Kissing Sooyoung was the easiest thing she had ever done. Second nature. Perfectly in tune. Simple.  
  
She melted into it and melted into Sooyoung who drew her even closer with arms curved around her waist. Seungwan braced her hands on her shoulders to keep herself upright for feet of her knees buckling under her.  
  
“I don’t think this makes us just friends anymore,” said Sooyoung against her mouth.  
  
Tingles washed through Seungwan’s entirety. “I’d hope not.”  
  
“Good answer.” Sooyoung kissed her again, sealing everything with the hot press of her mouth before pulling away. “Now, let's go.”  
  
“Go where?”  
  
“To celebrate our win.” Getting up, she snatched up her bag, stringing it over her shoulder.  
  
Seungwan’s eyebrow lifted. _"Our?”_  
  
“Don’t worry.” A hand slipped into hers, linking their fingers together. “We’re the only thing I care to celebrate tonight.”  
  
With a wink, Sooyoung pulled them along. Seungwan had no choice but to follow.  
  
But she didn’t have any problem with that.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_Fin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My lovely readers! Thank you so much for your patience waiting for the last leg of this story. And thank you a ton for all the kind words and support and love that has been expressed for this fun little fic. I have seen all the spazzing and I LOVE the little artworks that I have seen done on this piece. As always, thank you for taking time out of your day to read and comment. You guys really keep me going. Until next time. Boxx OUT!


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